Apparently, the movie gods have been hearing my prayers. A few weeks ago, a sequel to my favorite movie of all time, Top Gun, was announced. And then yesterday, not one, but two additions to the Bad Boys series, were confirmed. If…Read More »
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George W. Bush Was The Life Of The Party At A Dallas Courthouse After Being Summoned For Jury Duty
Jury duty is a nuisance for all Americans, and nobody is excluded from this irritating responsibilty — not even former presidents. George W. Bush caused a bit of a stir this morning when he showed up to a Dallas courthouse…Read More »
Elitist Dating App Had Hamptons Party, We Weren’t Invited
A new mobile dating app called The League, which is tailored specifically for ‘elite’ singles, hosted a swanky party in Montauk, Long Island this past weekend to promote the app’s New York launch. The party, located at the most prestigious beach destination in…Read More »
Most Chill 110-Year-Old Credits Her Longevity To The High Life And Johnnie Walker Blue
110-Year-Old credits Miller High Life and Johnnie Walker for her longevity. Read More »
Ultimate Frisbee Could Become An Olympic Sport, I Hate Everything
In some of the most devastating news I’ve heard in 2015, The International Olympic Committee is officially recognizing Ultimate Frisbee as a sport. Per New York Magazine: The World Flying Disc Federation, which also governs disc golf and Guts Frisbee,…Read More »
Study Shows That 49% Of Millennials Haven’t Had Sex In The Past Year, Is Just Too Real
Study confirms what you already knew: Millennials just aren’t having that much sex. Read More »
Chris Pratt Asked The Internet To Make Him A Facebook Header And This Is What Happened
Chris Pratt needed a new Facebook header, and he asked the Internet to make it for him. Because the Internet sometimes has good days, it followed through, and the results make Monday worth living.
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Coach Taylor Wants You To Turn Off Your Goddamn Cell Phone
It’s no secret that I consider Coach Taylor to be my spirit animal, so local Austin cinema chain Alamo Drafthouse dropping a new Coach Taylor speech on a casual Friday was a sight for sore eyes. And by sore eyes,…Read More »
Dude Gets Laid Off, Spends His Last Few Days Throwing Down Sick Dunks
It’s tough out there. You never know when the layoff rumors that have been whispered about for weeks will come to fruition. In the event that they do, you must be prepared. Awesome. While his coworkers were probably freaking out…Read More »
Toddler Gets Surprised With A Local Attorney Themed Birthday Party, And I’m Jealous
When the kid’s mother contacted the law office, the office sent some Morris Bart paraphernalia, which included an autographed photo. The party decorations consisted of a cutout of Bart, a t-shirt for the little guy, as well as a cake that brought a tear to my eye, mainly out of jealousy. Read More »
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