$53 million in debt makes my student loans look like beer money. Read More »
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27 Rejected Trader Joe’s-Style Whimsical Bullshit Foods
“Bland Joe’s Tolerable Nutrition Shapes.” Read More »
My Evaluation Of Men’s Health’s Five Tips For First Dates
Let’s just say I’ve got some edits for them. Read More »
The Case For Homemade Brunch
Gone are the days of spending $40 on brunch. Read More »
The Time I Leaked The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover While Wearing Sweatpants
I still don’t know how TMZ got my number. Read More »
Breaking Down This Week’s Insufferable New York Times Marriage Announcement: February 12
Seriously, what is a “dating fast” anyway? Come on. Read More »
Looking Back On My Glory Days
“Enjoy it while you can because one day it’ll be over.” Read More »
Hate On How I Dress But I’m Going To Keep Doing Me
Don’t let anyone tell you how to dress. Read More »
Why Dating Sucks When You’re A Sarcastic Asshole
It’s not easy being like this. Read More »
The Case For Cigarettes
Give smoking a chance. Read More »
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