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I’m one of the most loyal people I know. When I enter a relationship, whether it’s romantic or bromantic, I commit to you. I’ll stick up for your dumb opinions and defend the crap out of your honor. If you’re a bird, I’m a bird, even if we fight all the time and can’t agree on anything.
That goes for my girlfriend, my best friends, and of course, my TV shows. That’s right, I said it. I compare my favorite TV shows to relationships, and I don’t think that’s inaccurate. You develop feelings for them. You talk about them with your friends. You get upset with them over small things, like how they could have said something differently.
And sometimes, like an unhealthy relationship, they break your heart, yet for some reason, you just still keep coming back.
With that, I want to talk about some of my most unhealthy relationships with TV shows. As a warning, this WILL contain spoilers.
Community
How we fell for each other: I was in college. Young and naïve, Community was introduced to me by a friend after telling him that I was starting to watch more TV. You know how it goes when you have a lot of time to kill in college. You have to fill that time with something, and Community was a great first run.
How they broke my heart: Everything that happened after Season 3. From the creator of the show being fired from writing it, to Chevy Chase leaving, to Donald Glover leaving…it was just hard to watch. I mean that both literally and metaphorically. It was hard to watch the show because the writing was so bad.
How I Met Your Mother
How we fell for each other: I had just gotten out of my first ever real breakup (meaning, I had just finished Lost). I was on the rebound, looking for something quick and easy that I wouldn’t have to worry about hurting me. HIMYM fell into my lap when I was browsing Netflix one day. I watched the first episode and just like that, we were happily together for the next four years.
How they broke my heart: ROBIN? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I invested years into this show, only to have them kill off a character—THE character—that we had only known for 25 episodes? Never mind the bullshit drop in quality we got after Season 6. Never mind the entire character of Zooey. Never mind the fact that Ted was way too flawed of a character to be so critical of everyone else. I loved this show. Shame on you, HIMYM, for leaving us with what I consider one of the worst endings in television history.
American Horror Story
How we fell for each other: I was home for Thanksgiving break in 2011 when my mom introduced me to American Horror Story. She raved about it, said it was like nothing she had ever seen before. So that night, I had a blind date with them and watched the home intruder episode of Season 1. From that moment, I was spellbound.
How they broke my heart: You know how there are times when you’re with someone and notice a red flag but ignore it? Some time goes by, and then you see another one. All the sudden, you’re surrounded by red flags and you have to draw a line in the sand. My line in the sand was watching Schmidt get brutalized by a demon in Season 5 for no reason other than shock value. My final straw was when the hikers were shown getting burned at the stake via GoPro camera in Season 6.
Game of Thrones
How we fell for each other: It’s funny, Game of Thrones and I actually got acquainted a few months before I actually got into it. I got drunk one night and we had a little fun together, but it didn’t really mean anything until a few months later when my parents introduced me to it again. It was awkward at first, like putting together a puzzle without a picture for reference. But once we found our stride, boy, did we take off.
How they broke my heart: It wasn’t Ned. It wasn’t Theon getting his wiener sliced off. It wasn’t even The Red Wedding (honestly, I wasn’t a fan of those Starks anyway). It was Oberyn. Oh, Oberyn, you cocky motherfucker. For him to die so suddenly and in such a shocking way made me jump out of my seat. Game of Thrones hurt me in that episode, they hurt me really badly. But for some reason, I keep coming back.
The Walking Dead
How we fell for each other: TWD is probably my longest relationship to date. I remember watching the first season when it first aired and have stuck with it since. You never forget your first love, you know? I wanted to do everything for them. I read the comics. I read the forums. I knew what was going to happen before it did, all because I wanted to show how committed I was. And then…
How they continue to break my heart: Aside from Season 3, the writing died with Glenn and Abraham at the end of the Season 7 premiere. I wish I had more to say, but I’m still coming back every week. RIP in peace, fellas. .
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Charlie
Using sarcasm as a defense mechanism since 1993. At any given moment I'm either tired, drunk, or stressed out. Get at me at charliepgp@gmail.com or whatever.
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What HIMYM did was unforgivable. Entire series was a pointless waste because of the last 5-10 mins of the finale.
Add to this the fact that that was the plan the entire time (having all children segments filmed in S1)! In 10 yrs no one thought ‘Hey, maybe this isn’t the best thing to do?’
Apparently they filmed it both ways, so they have no excuse for keeping that terrible ending.
Nothing like a good old fashioned game of Just The Tip to light the fire with a show.
That 70’s show only slightly broke my heart with the last season. However, the finale made up for it.
TWD has ceased to become “must watch it the night of” TV for me, but I still record it and slog my way through the episodes. I just am waiting for Negan and/or Coral to get killed off at this point to make it worth it.
I really liked this most recent season of American Horror Story, so if Roanoke was too crazy for you, this felt like more of a return to form imo.
I agree about AHS. This past season was really good, especially compared to the nonsense that was Roanoke.
Lowkey, I thought Community was still great after the 3rd season. Paget Brewster and David Keith did a servicable job holding the gap that Glover and Chase left (although losing the Troy and Abed duo was a total game changer). It also had a few of my favorite episodes of the series in “Cooperative Polygraphy” and “App Development and Condiments.”
Agree on TWD wholeheartedly though. The moment Glen and Abe died, my interest in the show died too. I’ll still binge a few on rare weekends, but my heart just isn’t in it. If you, or any other commenters, are looking for a new TV relationship, there’s this hot young thing called “Mr. Robot” that not nearly enough people are talking about.
If you go back and watch episodes from after season 3 in a row it’s pretty good. Think it was one of those shows that when you had time to think about everything in between episodes you just didn’t enjoy it as much. Agreed with losing Troy was devastating but Atlanta makes up for it entirely.
100% with you on Oberyn’s death. That was more traumatic to me than the red wedding for some reason.
Oberyn was the first big death after my college graduation (May ’14). The group text EXPLODED like it never had before.
exploded… just like Oberyn’s head
I’ve tried to break up with TWD for years but I somehow keep watching. I’m not proud about it, but you’re not alone Charlie.
I’ve always felt Community has the biggest gap ever between how good it could have been and how bad it ended up. Partly for reasons already mentioned, it got zany and went in too many directions at once. The base premise had real legs, though.
I liked the ending of HIMYM. Meh me all you want but I have my reasons.
Same here the whole show was about Ted and Robin, thought it was obvious they would end up together and a great ending.
The only thing I didn’t like was how they didn’t use Bob Saget to play Old Ted
Question: I am the only person in this world who hasn’t watched Game of Thrones or Stranger Things? Are there other people out there like me?
With you on GOT. It feels too late to get into at this point.
Good thing you guys have a year and a half to catch up on it
You aren’t alone. I’m still trying to get through The Sorpranos.
You are not alone. I put on Frasier when I go to sleep and that’s about it for television besides Top Gear/The Grand Tour. I’ve been wanting to watch the office so I can relate to more people. Is it worth the watch?
I will get down voted into the abyss, but The Office fucking sucks.
It took me several tries to get into it, but now it’s a staple when I can’t figure out what I want to watch. Michael somehow transcends his asshole-self in seasons 1 and 2 and becomes a quasi-likeable, hilarious asshole.
You’re allowed to have your TV opinions and that’s ok, this is a safe space. You don’t have to like the office, or game of thrones, or stranger things.
I’m with you, brother. I have GOT a shot and it honestly sucks. I really think it’s a “everybody else loves it so I’ll pretend to love it too” type show.
I think the same thing about Lord of the Rings, but I fucking love Game of Thrones.
Hey I’ll second your LotR opinion and help you soak up the downvotes. Solidarity, my friend