An Investigation Into The Heartbreaking Music Video For “Last Christmas” By Wham!

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I listen to Christmas music year round. It’s not like I’m listening to Christmas music every single day of the year, but sometimes the mood strikes in July or August and there isn’t a damn thing anyone can do to stop me from bumping the everliving fuck out of “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber.

There are some Christmas songs that are so good that it’s not fair to confine them to one month every year. They’re well-written masterpieces and they deserve playing time outside of December.

“Last Christmas” by Wham! is one of those songs. It’s a piece of music that makes me feel fuzzy inside despite the fact that it’s about a breakup. George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley, a duo that has countless hit records to their name, wrote “Last Christmas” in 1984 and has since become a staple on any self-respecting Christmas music aficionado’s playlist.

They’re quintessential 80s pop, and the music video that goes along with “Last Christmas” is one of a kind. It’s quite dark actually, and with the malaise of December in full swing at my office, I’m going to investigate this situation a little more closely than is necessary. First things first: I need you to watch the video in its entirety.

I don’t need to tell you this because you should already know: the outfits on display in this particular music video are one of a kind.

George Michael steals the show (obviously) but the brunette who plays his ex-girlfriend also kills it in the style department with red sweaters and a mysterious brooch which I’ll get back to later.

Let me set the stage. George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley are headed to an unspecified ski resort with a bunch of their friends to celebrate Christmas together. George, a shell of a man since his breakup with a brunette who I will show you in a minute, has brought a new girlfriend with him to the house.

Ridgeley, the other member of Wham!, is now dating George Michael’s previously mentioned ex. Will they make it through the weekend? Will infidelity rear its ugly head? You’re about to find out.

The Players

George Michael. A glorious head of hair, and, as you can see, a new girlfriend on his arm just out of shot. There’s despair behind his eyes as he looks up to the balcony and sees his ex-girlfriend waving back at him.

The ex-girlfriend. A real ice queen if I’ve ever seen one. She went from dating George to dating the other member of Wham! in just under one year (if the lyrics of this song are to be taken literally). Absolutely savage, and the close proximity with which they’ll all be spending a weekend is not going to make things easy for anyone.

Here’s Andrew Ridgeley with his arm draped around George’s ex. This is grounds for terminating a friendship. Total scumbag. I actively root against him every time I watch this music video.

The Stage

Nice place. Doesn’t appear to be a ski-in, ski-out but I’m sure they got a really nice group rate on a house that big for the weekend. We’ll now head inside, where a dinner is about to take place that will rehash some painful memories not only for George but his ex-girlfriend as well.

Unpacking and The Dinner

Upon arrival at the house, the group settles in. They unpack, start to imbibe, and decorate a Christmas tree. Naturally, George Michael and his ex somehow both land tinsel duty on the tree, and as you can see plainly in the screenshot above, there may still be some feelings floating around for one another.

Dinner begins, and George is staring straight daggers at his ex-girlfriend. Look at that face. Pure sex. And his ex? Well, she’s not exactly giving him the cold shoulder. The mood of the video shifts as George notices a bedazzled brooch on Andrew Ridgeley’s lapel. Is it the same brooch that he had given his now ex-girlfriend just one year ago? You be the judge.

Pictured above we have shots of Ridgeley wearing the brooch upside down on his lapel. In the photos directly below that, we see George gifting a brooch to his ex. She wears it right-side up on her red sweater. Who do I hate more right now? The ex-girlfriend who gave George’s gift to her new boyfriend? Or do I hate the boyfriend for wearing it in front of George? Tough call.

Final Analysis

This is without a doubt the same brooch. What we have here is a good old-fashioned re-gift, and for Ridgeley to wear the brooch on his lapel, which was originally given to his girlfriend by George Michael, is pure fuckery. It’s a move that I don’t think we’ll ever see again. It’s so ruthless. So in-your-face and downright mean-spirited that I have no choice but to sort of respect it? The balls on that guy to wear a gift which held some sentimental value for a couple that didn’t work out. It’s appalling, really.

Now I’m sure a lot of you are wondering how this ends. There’s no fight. There isn’t a screengrab of George Michael jumping over the dinner table and stabbing his ex-girlfriends new beau with the jeweled brooch he bought her. It actually appears that nothing of consequence happens between George and his former lover.

They all go their separate ways at the end of the music video and there are a few nice shots of ski lifts and snowy mountains. We never see so much as a kiss between George and the ex.

I guess the moral of this video is simple. If you go to a ski resort with a bunch of your friends for Christmas and your ex is there, act like an adult (something that our friend Andrew Ridgeley clearly never learned how to do).

Also, don’t buy a girl some fancy ass brooch if you’re not totally sure the two of you are going to make it. The last thing you want to see a year from this Christmas is your ex and her new boyfriend yucking it up on Instagram, his lapel adorned with a brooch that you bought. Seeing a picture like that would keep me up for days on end. Have a Merry Christmas and happy holidays, everyone. Enjoy this month and this song. It’s a heater. .

All images via Youtube

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Johnny D

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• jduda@grandex.co