An Hour-By-Hour Breakdown Of Your Workday, In Haiku Form

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Pour yourself a glass of Arbor Mist, and wrap yourself in that bathrobe you stole from Holiday Inn, and enjoy some of the finer things in life.

On waking up:
Hit the snooze button,
Don’t need to shower today,
Wear same pants from Tuesday

On daily commute:
Car pool lane is jammed
White knuckles squeezing the wheel
Fuck you, Honda Civic

Coffee Break:
Need a black coffee,
But Bill from HR is there,
He hogs the creamer

Lunch:
Chipotle sounds good,
But my bank account is low,
Brought tuna from home

Meetings:
“It’s mandatory”
2 hours on “synergy”
I need Flappy Bird

Clocking out:
Is time slowing down?
How is it still 4:50?
God, I miss college

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TN Bluegrass

Grow up, Peter Pan...Count Chocula.

• @mtmattingly87