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As the premier conspiracy expert/investigative journalist on the internet, I think it is my duty to break down the latest conspiracy that is rocking the web this week.
First off, let’s ask ourselves what we know about Amelia Earhart. Easily the most famous female pilot of all time (non-fiction division, because Denise Richards in “Starship Troopers” holds the fictional distinction. That prom dress. Yowza.), Amelia Earhart tried to be the first woman (or “broad” as they were commonly referred to in the 1930s) to circumnavigate the globe in a plane after becoming the first woman to fly across the Atlantic. She got lost on July 2, 1937 around the Marshall Islands in the South Pacific and was never heard from again. ALLEGEDLY.
Not so fast. Somebody at the National Archives claims they have found a picture of her ALIVE and well in the Marshall Islands sitting next to a man who looks like her navigator, Fred Noonan. Fred Noonan also holds the distinction of having the most 1930s name ever.
So, what could she be doing in the Marshall Islands, alive? Number one, I’m not entirely sure that’s her. Can’t see her face and I find it interesting that a photo that’s been available in the National Archives for nearly 70 years has somehow surfaced just days before the History Channel is airing a special on Miss Amelia. Hmmm, how so very odd.
I gotta give them credit, these guys really cover all their bases. All the evidence is circumstantial, if you ask me. Let’s see what the executive producer had to say:
The photo shows a Japanese ship, Koshu, towing a barge with something that appears to be 38-feet-long — the same length as Earhart’s plane.
For decades, locals have claimed they saw Earhart’s plane crash before she and Noonan were taken away. Native schoolkids insisted they saw Earhart in captivity. The story was even documented in postage stamps issued in the 1980s.
“We believe that the Koshu took her to Saipan [in the Mariana Islands], and that she died there under the custody of the Japanese,” said Gary Tarpinian, the executive producer of the History special.
The Japanese were absolutely ruthless back then, so I am actually feeling kind of shitty making light of the death of an American legend. However, this story has eyewitness testimony and several dots that can be connected. I’m labeling this as a certifiable conspiracy theory. 100% Bri Guy approved. Rubber stamped hot on the streets. This show had my curiosity, now it has my attention.
The most important facet of this story, in my opinion, is that there are probably all sorts of cool ass photos in the National Archive that might hold clues to America’s greatest unanswered questions that have yet to be uncovered. Hundreds of thousands of images that might unlock the answers to our nation’s deepest mysteries. Who could possibly be the person to take on the task of perusing this massive cache of imagery? It’s not me. I have a job. Can’t take the time off.
This is a job for Benjamin Franklin Gates and the writers of the much anticipated “National Treasure 3.” Get on it. We’ve been waiting too long for the coup de grace of the greatest Disney live action franchise this side of The Mighty Ducks. Get the gang back together and let’s hunt down some gosh dang treasure, one last time. Last Crusade style. Make it happen..
[via NBC News ]