Ages To Get Married, Ranked

Ages To Get Married, Ranked

So you have a bunch of friends getting engaged and the most intimate moment you’ve had this month was with a slice of cold pizza sitting on your couch watching reruns of House of Cards? Fear not, sad person, you could still be doing this whole “life” thing right.

Marriage is awesome, but there is a right time to be married and a wrong time to be married. For example: If you’re 19 and you just graduated high school, it is the wrong time to be married. But if you are 35 and experiencing the extremely early hormonal symptoms associated with menopause, you should be in Marriage Urgency Mode™. Somewhere in-between that time, there is a perfect age to get married. Let’s break it down.

Here are the best ages to be married, ranked.

12.) 17-19

Oh, God. She’s pregnant, isn’t she?

11.) 20-23

You really love your college girlfriend but she won’t put your pecker in her mouth until it is sanctioned by God? If your immediate reaction to that is: “OK, let’s do it. Let’s get married.” You’ve made a grave mistake.

10.) 35-plus

Still waiting on the right one? He/she either doesn’t exist or you’ve already met them. Time to do a quick run through of your phone contacts. Chances are, if you’re ever going to get married, you already have your spouse’s number.

9.) 24

Still too young. I know you feel like an adult now but you’re really not. If your parent’s are still paying for your cell phone bill, it’s not the right time.

8.) 32-34

Really pushing the limits with this one. I know you’re picky but at some point you just gotta choose, man.

7.) 25

OK, you’ve got some life experiences under your belt. If she’s the one and you’ve got a stable job, it’s OK to start thinking about marriage.

6.) 31

Your mom wants grandkids, and she isn’t getting any younger. Be nice to your mom and settle down. I know you think you’re still in your 20s but remember how recently you were 21? In that same amount of time, you’ll be 40.

5.) 30

30 is usually the right age to be having a child. If you still aren’t married, that’s fine. Hopefully you’ve got some prospects, though.

4.) 26

26 is the perfect time to get engaged. Still young enough to enjoy the benefits in life of being single, but old enough to have a solid grasp on reality. Getting married too young is disastrous, getting married young is not.

3.) 29

No problem with not being married at 29. Great year to do it, though. With that milestone of a birthday coming up, you better get ready for a barrage of questions from your family.

2.) 27

An ideal time to get married. 27 is a great age to walk down the aisle while your parents and grandparents can still enjoy your wedding. There isn’t much of a difference between this and No. 1 on this list, honestly. I’ll just give the knock to No. 1 because humans are living longer and in 30 years you’ll appreciate that extra year of not being married.

1.) 28

DING! DING! DING! You’ve hit it. The perfect age to get married. Now quick, go out and find a husband and plan your dream wedding. You only have a few more years before everything (including your body) goes to shit!

I hope you find this age ranking helpful. Bookmark it and show it to your friends who are thinking about popping the question. Next up, the best ages to get divorced!

Image via Shutterstock

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