A coworker asked if I have any kids. I said, “Man, I hope not.” They did not find it amusing. PGP. OfficeBromance
A 23-year-old just won the World Cup for his country. All I’ve done for mine is pay taxes. PGP. ForeverSeekingGrad
Got one of those, “I either made lots of friends or ruined friendships night” type of hangovers. PGP. Sanchmaster
Intentionally avoiding the cute teller at the bank, because you don’t want her to see your account balance. PGP. freedom25
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