A Sunday Television Guide For People Who Aren’t Doing Shit Today

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I haven’t left my place all weekend. It’s been glorious. As we speak, I’m watching Phil spray a tee shot way right at the WGC, and I don’t plan on going anywhere for the next 8 hours. Because I care about each of you very deeply, here’s a rundown of the best television for your Sunday. All times are CST, baby.

Combine

NFL Network all day.

Studies have shown that you can, in fact, boost testosterone from your couch. As I’ve stated, watching hour after hour of collegiate specimens push weight, jump, and run is an excellent way to do that.

Wow. That’s almost inspiring enough to get me to the gym today. I’ll just sit here and contemplate my trash genetics instead. You never know what might happen during the combine. Last year, Chris Jones’ dong popped out and dabbed on us.

We’ve all been there.

What a moment. If that wasn’t enough, we’ve got on-field, lanyard-wearing Jim Tomsula back in the house. $$$$

So You Think You’d Survive?

Safety net television.

From noon to 3, Weather Channel is putting on a “I’m not doing shit with my life today” clinic. SYTYS? is absolutely underrated. Check out these features:

“Tornadoes and Killer Bees”

“Gators and Ice Tsunami”

“Earthquakes and Blizzards”

Name a more powerful trifecta…I didn’t think so. Don’t sleep on the Weather Channel’s ability to pull you, spike your anxiety, and then spit you out like you meant nothing to them at all.

South Park

Noon to 4. Prime time, baby.

They’re playing the hits. No deep tracks. “Simpsons Already Did It”, “South Park Is Gay”, “Breast Cancer Show Ever”, “Major Boobage”, “Something You Can Do With Your Finger.” SP marathons are among the most underrated Sunday time-kills in existence.

Golf

Welllllll it’s the big show!

There will be no golf nap today. Coverage is on currently (12:17 p.m.) via Golf Channel, but switches over to NBC at 1. Saturday afternoon at the WGC-Mexico Championship was, as I’ve stated in multiple text convos, the most electricity I’ve seen in a non-major Saturday afternoon in years. I can’t even begin to do it justice. The leaderboard alone had me feeling like I drank a thousand nose beers.

Phil was so Phil yesterday. I’d look down to fire off a text only to look up and see he was hitting a flop shot over a taqueria.

That doesn’t tell the entire story. We’ve got John Rahm and Thomas Pieters, two young studs who will be lighting it up for European Ryder Cup teams for the next decade. Spieth is right there too. Scwhing!

Big Little Lies

Ohhhhh Sunday Night.

We’re two episodes in, and I’m comfortable in anointing BLL with my A+ Yo Me Gusta show of the year. It’s the best hour of television right now. I honestly thought I’d hate it, but it’s grabbed me by the P like few shows in recent memory. Give Reese the Emmy. Give her mommy of the year, too. Hell, toss in an iHeart Radio award too. I don’t care.

Award Show

The ultimate plan b.

Nothing says prestige quite like the IHeart Radio Music Awards. Every artist dreams of being honored by Ryan Seacrest. If you choose to participate in this event, you will not only get a chance to view the most criminally underrated wedding band entertainer, Bruno Mars, perform, but you’ll also witness history as he’s honored with the “iHeart Radio Innovator Award.”

Wow. Congratulations to Bruno. We’re also hearing rumors that the critically acclaimed “Chainsmokers” will be making an appearance.

Keep it in your pants, Will.

Final thoughts: skip brunch, don’t jog, just watch golf..

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Dave

Lawyer. Writer. Dude doing business. I'm the meatloaf guy from tv.

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