A New, Legitimate Excuse For Staying Single Just Happened


If you’re desperately looking for an excuse to stay home tonight and drink wine pantless on the couch while watching Netflix alone, I’ve got you.

A 25-year old French woman named Mina El Houari, who had been “chatting online” via Facebook with some bro from Morocco, died after her first date with him.

El Houari flew to Morocco after several months of Facebook chatting with this guy, checked herself into a five-star Moroccan hotel, and met up with her unnamed date (though I’m going to call him Steve). El Houari, an undiagnosed diabetic, collapsed during their date, which was apparently otherwise going spectacularly according to police questioning with Steve.

In a panic, or something I like to refer to as “Reason #1 as to why you DON’T MEET PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET,” Steve buried her alive in the fucking flower garden in his backyard. As a result, El Houari suffocated to death.

STEVE! Bro. Why was the first “seemingly rational” thought you had, “I’m going to bury her under the hydrangeas!” and not, “Holy shit, I cannot call 911 fast enough”?

Steve has since been taken into police custody, who found muddy trousers and a shovel in his home after her family filed a missing persons report, and charged with involuntary manslaughter.

And this is why I’m going to stay home and live a happy, single life.

[via Cosmo]

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My state gave you J. Law, Clooney, two-fifths of the Backstreet Boys, and multiple fifths of bourbon. I gave you a cover letter using Brian McKnight lyrics. Psuedo-adult by day; PGP, TFM, and TSM contributor by night. Please don't ask me to do math.

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