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I’m not a betting man, at least when it comes to non-money matters. I’ll throw around dollar bets like it’s nobody’s business. Three-team parlays, money lines, over/unders. I’ll take all of that action. What I definitely try to stay away from are horrible, awful, downright deplorable bets like this one that a particularly confident Chicago Bears fan made prior to the 2014 NFL regular season.
Reddit user Mshotts bet several Green Bay Packer fans that his beloved Bears would finish better than 5-11. Welp, the Bears finished 5-11 and he delivered on a bet that no man should ever make. Here’s the original post:
I think “might win 5” is a bit of a stretch. You honestly see us winning just two more games this year?
We’re 3-4 not 0-7 and we have been saying since the schedule came out that it would be rough.
If we go 5-11 I’ll stick a cheesestick with a little Rodgers jersey up my ass with video proof. Go ahead and tag me.
Oh. Oh no. You didn’t. You did? Come on, man. You should NEVER make a bet like this, even if it is on the internet and you don’t have anyone to hold you to your word. But our hero is a man of his word. He would not let his honor be tarnished. He would shove a cheese stick into his asshole. Here are the pics of the prep:
I must warn you, the link that follows shows a cheese stick wearing a mini Aaron Rodgers jersey going into a grown man’s anus.
Click if you dare (Extremely NSFW).
Forever unclean!.
[via Reddit]
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Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
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Trestman, Cutler and Phil Emery have been fisting us all year, so the cheese stick was probably relatively painless.
It’s ok, they kept the monsters of the midway alive by keeping Mel Tucker.
Chicago is a weird place, man
Reddit is a weird place, man.
Shoulda left that link blue.
Not sure why I clicked that. Some things cannot be unseen.
It’s times like this I’m glad I’m so apathetic.
Nothing better than seeing an obnoxious Chicagoan get fucked by cheese.
In the spirit of Chicago, he should have bet to shove a deep dish pizza up there.