======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
In America, we love our sports. At times, it can rival another one of our favorite things: sex. Just ask any girlfriend who’s tried to get her boyfriend to sleep with her during an important football game. However, sex and sports are not mutually exclusive. Oddly, and subconsciously, they go together in ways we’d never imagine, and often phrases are used in our favorite sports that our gutter brains automatically relate to sex. That being said, I’ve taken the liberty of sharing my 69 favorite sports sex euphemisms. Enjoy.
Baseball
- Backdoor slider.
- “He is eating that number two hole up.”
- “He got fisted.”
- He got to third base.
- Sharp curves.
- Two balls.
- Pitcher and catcher.
- If there’s grass on the field, play ball.
- Foul balls.
- Worm burner.
- Grand slam.
- Upper decker.
- Chin music.
Football
- Penetrate the D-line.
- Penetrate the O-line.
- Sacked on the blind side.
- Come from behind.
- He tried to fit that in a really tight hole.
- He stuck his hand in there.
- Tight end.
- Wide receiver.
- Slot receiver.
- Strong finish.
- Two minute drill.
- He took one for the team.
- He took a hard blow.
- He took one to the face mask.
- Fresh turf.
- He is eating up the secondary.
- Great snatch!
Hockey
- Pulling the goalie.
- “The goalie is weak between the legs.”
- High sticking.
- “Getting dirty in the corners.”
- Inside the penalty box.
- Broke his stick.
Basketball
- “He definitely miscalculated the depth which led to that lousy rim job.”
- Around the rim.
- Bounced off the rim.
- He sank a deep one.
- Boxed out.
- He took it to the hole.
- Dribble between the legs.
Golf
- Putting from the rough.
- Sank a short one.
- Stuck in the sand trap.
- The back nine.
- Swinging his five wood.
- Nice lie.
- Watering the green.
- Hole in one.
- Tearing up the green.
- Stiff shaft.
Tennis
- Mixed doubles.
- Swinger.
- Fuzzy balls.
- Hit it hard up the middle.
- Five sets.
- Practice balls.
- Ball boy.
- Oversized head.
Soccer
- Slipped one through the five hole.
- A long, slow dribbler.
- He crossed it over the box.
- Three man release.
- Great head shot.
- Spectacular finish.
- “It was Messi.”
Volleyball
- What a set!
Respond
@5OClockShadow_
Always appreciate an article written just to sneak in a lovely photo
You’re welcome.
Who is that, and how do I get one?
Considering the logo is that of my former high school, you may want to look but not touch.