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Albert Einstein once said, “If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.” So dream on, you dreamers.
Opening a Bar
Why You Think It’s A Good Idea:
-You can hire your friends.
-Potentially very profitable.
-Sleep ’til noon everyday.
-Free booze.
Why It’s A Terrible Idea:
-Free booze that you’re paying for.
-Gigantic startup costs.
-You’ve never even worked at a bar.
-Insuring it will be a nightmare.
Opening a Restaurant
Why You Think It’s a Good Idea:
-You love Top Chef.
-Your chili is actually really good.
-You had a summer job at a restaurant. Well, not technically a restaurant. A snack bar.
Why It’s a Terrible Idea:
-Restaurants fail more than any other business. Even Chili’s and Applebee’s close on the reg.
-If you don’t get on the Food Network or Travel Channel within three years of opening, you’re fucked.
-Two words: food costs.
-You’ll be there all the time. No, like, all the fucking time.
Opening a Coffee Shop
Why You Think It’s a Good Idea:
-Everyone drinks coffee.
-Your neighborhood is lacking a good, locally-owned coffee shop, despite there being seven Starbucks within walking distance of your apartment.
-You love coffee and poetry.
Why It’s A Terrible Idea:
–Friends hasn’t been on the air for a decade and Central Perk was a shitty coffee house to begin with.
-Everyone just goes to Starbucks anyway.
-You’ll have to sell at least 300 venti lattes a day to break even. Do the math.
Opening a Bookstore
Why You Think It’s A Good Idea:
-I have no idea why you would think this is a good idea.
-Although on one hand, it might be good to promote intelligence and positive discussion in your community. Nope, nevermind.
-Don’t do this. Seriously. Listen to me.
Why It’s A Terrible Idea:
-No one reads actual books anymore. Now, if you want to sell textbooks to college kids, do that. Do that so hard. Rip those overprivileged idiots right off.
Buying a Blockbuster Franchise
Why You Think It’s A Good Idea:
-You just came out of a 15-year coma.
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
@BrianMcGannon
@brianmcgannon
brianmcgannon
Last night’s episode of bar rescue was definitely one of the best.
Because he used the term Butt Funnel a dozen times
Its gonna be the longest butt funnel in the world
Bartender lady was a babe. The 40 year old fuck stick was definitely a pike in undergrad.
Plenty of people still read print books. They just buy them off Amazon.
Run about of steam after the first four or did you just want to hit up happy hour a bit early?
Blockbuster franchise:
Why you think it’s a good idea:
– Your name is Randy Marsh
A buddy of mine opened up a Microbrewery in B’ham, BAMA called GOOD PEOPLE, it’s actually pretty legit. But you are right, he works on THE REG!!! Too bad B’ham is pretty much the projects, well downtown, Homewood is decent.