25 Questions Netflix Would Ask You If It Could Talk

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Netflix can be your best friend, romantic date, late night fling, and worst enemy. Simultaneously. She can keep you up all night like a screaming baby and rock you gently to sleep like a loving mother. But what if she could talk to you? Judge you? Be brutally honest? Well, if your relationship with Netflix is anything like mine, she’d probably ask you these 25 questions.

1. This? Again?
2. What’s with you and Nazis, man?
3. Is that guy who delivered the pizza the only person you’ve talked to today?
4. Are you even going to offer me a slice?
5. Seriously, do you own pants?
6. Can you tell me what the weather was like today without checking your phone?
7. Is that wine in your coffee mug?
8. We must be in for a rom-com tonight, huh?
9. You want to talk about it?
10. Isn’t Game 7 on tonight?
11. Isn’t your girlfriend going to be pissed you watched ahead without her?
12. Are you even watching or are you totally consumed by Tinder?
13. Speaking of which, why does your Tinder profile say you like the outdoors?
14. So, no gym again today, huh?
15. Weren’t you wearing that shirt yesterday?
16. Why do you keep rewinding and re-watching that scene where Jennifer Aniston eats the banana?
17. Did you just blow your nose on your T-shirt?
18. Are you eating cereal out of a cup?
19. Did you just say, “My diet starts Monday,” again?
20. Seriously, how have you not even moved to go to the bathroom?
21. We’re not even through season one yet and you’re already asking friends to recommend a new show to you?
22. Are you still watching?
23. Calm your tits, why do you always freak out when I ask you that?
24. Why do you look more alive when you’re asleep than when you’re awake?
25. See you tomorrow?

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Hey, I saw this on Post Grad Problems. Check it out.

Andy Bernard