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Once you graduate, the rush is on. People get their jobs and marry their college sweethearts. Your friends are having kids and starting families, and it seems like by the time you reach your mid-to-late-twenties you’re one of the few bachelors left.
It seems like this pressure affects women more than men, and as single women get closer to 30, they are more than ready to nest. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m old as fuck, closer to 30 than 20, and if I find the right woman, I have nothing against moving fast. However you feel about it, there are five clear, yet subtle signs the girl you are dating is in a rush to tie the knot.
1. After a good first date, she wants to schedule 2+ more dates within the next 5 days.
I actually kind of like this. No waiting. No BS. Let’s find out within a week if we are compatible. Most girls are going to make you wait a week to even tell you if they want a second date, and if they do, you have to wait yet another week to even see them, and you just snail along and wonder what the deal is. Not with this girl. She’s got everything planned out for the next two weeks, including if and when she’s going to hook up with you and what hints she’s going to drop when she’s ready. Women are evil geniuses when it comes to this stuff. Evil, I tell you.
2. The first time she sees your place she says it “needs a woman’s touch.”
It may come off as her teasing you. It may go completely over your head. However, in hindsight, you realize that she’s already visualizing what she would do to make your place less of a bachelor pad and more of a place where she’ll be comfortable visiting regularly and, eventually, living. She knows what color she wants you to paint the walls. She knows how she wants your furniture arranged. She knows which Goodwill she’s going to drop off your Xbox and dry bar. If you’re not ready for a future wife, beware.
3. The condom test.
The first time you sleep together, it just kind of happens. You’ve been dating a few weeks, you’ve waited patiently, and one night it gets hot and heavy and she unbuttons your pants. When you reach for a condom, she objects. In a temporary moment of female insanity, she’s willing to play Russian Roulette with her womb, and your condomless member is a .44 magnum. If you were a rando hookup, there is no way she’d do this. Just make sure the barrel isn’t facing the target when it’s ready to shoot. She’ll come to her senses. It’s that second X chromosome.
4. She lets you know she told her mom about you within the first week.
In the traditional post-high school dating world, a girl’s mom and dad don’t know about you until three or four weeks have gone by. Since parents ask a million questions about who their kids are seeing, and rightfully so, most girls aren’t going to tell their parents about the one-to-three week fling. Three weeks is not long enough for her to care what happens. This girl, on the other hand, has already planned on you meeting her parents right after the “exclusive” talk, so her mom might as well know about you. Also, by letting you know her mom knows about you, she’s dropping the big hint that she wants to have your babies some day.
5. The ultimatum.
Remember, this is a blitzkrieg. Speed is of the essence for this girl. She’s not waiting. She has a time limit for the “exclusive” talk, usually three weeks max, regardless of how few times you’ve actually seen each other. Of course, we guys like about six weeks before we decide to dive in headfirst. That’s an appropriate amount of time, I think, to decide if you want to enter a long-term, committed relationship. If you take too long, she will either just break up with you or say that you need to talk because she’s not sure if you two have the same vision for the relationship. That extra 2-3 weeks must be an eternity in girl-years.
Respond
@5OClockShadow_
I’ll be 24 in exactly three weeks. This column makes me feel like I’m running behind.
The rush is on!!!
According to #3, most of the women I sleep with want to marry me….. Sounds about right.
Or… Maybe she just likes you.
Or…maybe she’s a lunatic
Social satire, my dear. Not quite Mark Twain but it should get the job done.
What does ‘like’ mean?
it has to mean she “likes you” likes you, as opposed to just liking you…because that makes sense.
I think something was done here…..
Hahahaha. If the comment wasn’t enough I look over and see the reaction in the negatives. Good laugh.
Girls have cooties.