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The world has never had so many avenues for communication, which means people have never had so many ways to cry foul, and noted online social medium Twitter dot com is a hotbed for controversy. The most talked about subject of the past week was shocking, sickening, and potentially scandalous.
It me. #Gritty pic.twitter.com/HfTMVtEAFy
— Gritty (@GrittyNHL) September 24, 2018
Sweet tap dancing Christ.
Meet Gritty. He’s a vaguely humanoid abberation that God forgot. As with most major mascots (who can forget the Staley the Bear debacle of 1987), he’s caused an utter media firestorm. Flyers fans and foes alike have already called for Gritty’s removal from the team’s records. A particularly unsettling tweet even called for the mascot’s demise at the hands of angry Philadelphians.
WARNING: The following tweet is not appropriate for children.
remember when the good people of Philadelphia destroyed that hitchhiking robot bc he was an affront to god and goodness? I trust they will soon come to their senses and kick the shit out of Gritty
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) September 27, 2018
Still, many others have professed a deeper affection for the beast. Much like in 1987, it would appear hairy men are in.
i am attracted to gritty
— speedy ortiz online presence? (@sad13) September 27, 2018
Why anyone would feel a desire to make the sex with a being who makes Quasimodo look like the top contender for People Magazine’s sexiest man alive is beyond this reporter. His moving googly eyes are the stuff of Scott Norwood level sports nightmares, and the contrast of his human hands with the rest of his fursona is unsettling.
The eyes. The hair. The human-like hands. What could compel people to muster even a phantom of arousal for…
Goodnight, internet. pic.twitter.com/gx2Pbxfcds
— Gritty (@GrittyNHL) September 25, 2018
Oh, now I get it.
Would you get up in Gritty’s guts or are you in the camp of mass mascot destruction? Let us hear your voice in the comments below. .
Respond
The Philly Phanatic’s meth-head brother. Which is really saying something because the Phanatic looks like the alcoholic Muppet.
Fitting mascots for Philadelphia
For anyone else who listens to Spittin’ Chiclets podcast (hilarious) they went down this rabbit hole with Gritty on the most recent episode and it’s so, so funny.
Gritty, like Post Malone, looks like the 0.001% of germs Lysol didn’t kill
I just choked, spot fucking on hahahaha
Gritty Fucks
The Flyers new mascot looks like Jakub Voracek fucked a stale McNugget.
As a Philadelphia fan and an employee of the Flyers (no, I didn’t know about him until the official release), I have to say that I was at first, like many, terrified of Gritty. However, despite my gut reaction to run in the opposite direction of this fuzzy orange creature, he has definitely grown on me. Got to see him in action last night at the game when the Fly Guys got rocked by the Rangers. He loves launching t shirts and high fives (his hands squeak!) and is less terrifying in person.
I can only hope that my fellow Philadelphians come to love him too. Embrace Gritty, even if the rest of the world hates him. No one likes us, we don’t care.
(The eyes need to be ungoogled, though. That will always be creepy.)
No, he’s creepy af. Redo it.
As a fellow Philadelphian, he’s grown on me. All in on Gritty.
he’s hilarious and entertaining
I was scared at first, but now I love him.
No one likes us, we don’t care.
GO BIRDS
Gritty is straight up nightmare fodder.
This is just meth-head Youppie
A terrifying mascot is always a great move from a marketing perspective. A relatively unknown Scottish soccer club called Patrick Thistle F.C. pulled a similar move a few years ago with a hideously bad mascot called Kingsley and went viral. Genius.
He looks like a muppet possessed. Kill it, kill it with fire.
I’d smash for the story