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A steady rain taps against the window as thunder rolls in the distance. There’s a slight breeze and yet the humid air still hangs heavy in the early evening hours. The technical end of summer festivities came to a close with the sun setting on another Labor Day, but this warm storm reminds the pumpkin spice latte connoisseurs that fall isn’t quite ready to make its appearance.
Inside the house sits a scantily-clad girl with her hair in a haphazard messy bun not worthy to be viewed in public. No, this is a hairstyle of necessity, not Instagram likes. A fan blows on its highest setting in an attempt to move the stagnant air around the stuffy bedroom. The bottle of sparkling water on the nightstand drips condensation that gathers in a tiny pool beneath it. What would normally be a peaceful soundtrack to an average Tuesday night, the storm merely adds to her irritation of the situation at hand. You see, despite the relaxation Mother Nature provides outside, the thermostat inside displays an uncomfortable reality. 79 degrees. A stifling reminder that the air conditioner had been off for over 12 hours.
This was my life last week when my roommate decided to save money yet again by preemptively turning off the AC in her house. Had the day before reached a high of 85 degrees? Yes. Was the weekend scheduled to warm up again despite a couple days in the low 70s? Also yes. Did she consult me on this decision before I came home from work to a hotbox? Nope. I get her intentions, I really do. BUT there is a time and place to be cheap.
When I first moved in with my roommate, I knew that although she never intended to have someone live with her in the house she proudly owned, she was excited about the extra income I would provide her. I was excited about the cheap rent and she was excited to use my money to travel more with her boyfriend who wasn’t officially her boyfriend. Plus, I was a built-in dog sitter for her pit bull. Wins all around.
My initial glimpse at how cheap she really is came when we were first running low on toilet paper. I arrived home from work only to discover a replacement package of one-ply paper from the dollar store. Confused, I thought that maybe she didn’t have time to go get the real stuff considering the house is merely blocks away from said dollar store. But when a few days had passed with no change, I knew I had to start buying my own stash of luxury TP.
After the toilet paper discovery, I should have understood what I was dealing with. But alas, the depth of the extremes to which she went in order to save some cash was startling. There was the time our heat went out and instead of getting it fixed immediately that day, she saved a whole $40 by getting the hardware delivered from Amazon and replacing it herself. We had no heat for THREE days in the interim.
I learned that her love of the dollar store extended to other products — including tampons. Yes, the awful cardboard applicator kind. Gentlemen, let me tell you that opting to assault your lady parts with this form of discomfort is not something a sane person would do willingly.
Perhaps the most extreme case came when she attempted to change internet providers only to learn that the new company would charge $180 to install and the old company wouldn’t let her come back without doubling the monthly costs for a period of 90 days. I asked often how things were going and when I could resume having Netflix grace my TV screen only to have the days stretch by with no change. Over 90 days later, the internet returned after I spent many a night not at my house. My consolation was money taken off my rent, but come on.
I realize my roommate is not the norm, however I recently witnessed another brazen attempt to pull the cheap card out in the wild.
My friend’s bachelorette party weekend was concluding with a much-needed brunch before we all dispersed to nap away the afternoon. The checks were passed around the table, and what followed was a shocking outburst in the form of multiple girls complaining about how expensive their bills were. I’m talking full-on, “Omg, are you serious? I didn’t bring enough cash for this!” type of stuff. All said right in front of the bride.
To be honest, this brunch was not expensive. In fact, I don’t remember the last time I paid that little. On top of this, the restaurant choice was in the bachelorette party invitation everyone had received months in advance. The menu and prices shouldn’t have been a surprise. The cost of the weekend as a whole shouldn’t have been a surprise, because it was also laid out in the invitation! Bachelorette parties in general are expensive; get over it. And if you’re going to complain about the financials, at least do it in a less tacky way (AKA behind the bride’s back afterwards).
I’m all for saving money, don’t get me wrong. Use that coupon code, buy that $5 wine, eat a box of mac ‘n cheese for dinner, stay at a less-than-5-star hotel when you’re in town for a one-night event that results in passing out for a few hours then leaving the following morning in a hungover stupor. These are acceptable and recommended ways to make your wallet happier. Just don’t let your enjoyment of life suffer because you can’t loosen up the purse strings a bit. You can’t take it with you, right?.
Respond
Whatever Lola Wants
Outward appearance of being a hot mess with just enough Type A personality to not be a complete disappointment to my parents. Almost as good at avoiding commitment as I am at holding my liquor.
@LauraMeinert
Always buy the first round, I learned that too late in life
This is true. Did it Saturday for gameday and didn’t buy a drink the entire afternoon
This is a great article. One of my best friends is like this and it has gotten to the point where we leave him out of a decent amount of activities cause we don’t wanna sacrifice doing something fun to save $10. Cheapness is not easily forgotten.
This. I invited my buddy for lunch last weekend, and he tells me “I can eat lunch for free at home”, the rest of the squad has not let him live that down
One adage that’s always stuck with me is of two people buying shoes. One is thrifty, but knows a good value when he sees it so he buys a pair for $300 and they last him ten years. The other is cheap and buy shoes for $100, but has to replace them every two years. In the end, the person who spent more initially ends up spending less money. It kind of reflects how I view spending habits: know when it’s worth it to be cheap and know when it isn’t.
But you’ll have to pry that $15 avocado toast from my cold, dead hands.
I saw this in a GSElevator article (which is sort of tongue in cheek but not really.) “Why buy a pair of $300 loafers at Bloomingdale’s every year instead of paying $700 for a pair of Ferragamos that you replace every 4 years?”
Moral of the story: It’s expensive to be poor. As soon as you can break out of that paycheck-to-paycheck life, it takes off exponentially.
This is why value is more important than cost.
The worst is when people are generous with themselves, but cheap when it comes to other people. I helped my brother an interstate move a few years ago, and this took my entire Labor weekend. To thank me, he takes me out to a bar, but makes me pay for myself. Now, I’m never going out of my way to help him again. For the record, he had a good paying job at the time, and had more than enough saved up to hire movers
TLDR: No one will want to help you out if you’re excessively cheap
You forced my hand to reply. Your brother is not only cheap, but an asshole of the highest order. Unless you’re leaving out something he did for you or other details. Even then, to make you buy your own drinks after that is the act of a supreme dick. Please tell me he has Asperger’s or is severely autistic or something.
Forgot to add, when I called him out on it, he said, “I’m giving you a place to stay and paying for the drive down while you help me”, completely ignoring the fact that this was basically a business trip for me
Brutal.
Nope, he’s completely normal mental health wise. Honestly, if he just had everything ready to be loaded (which he didn’t, I disassembled quite a bit of furniture for him) and paid pizza and beer afterwards I would’ve been perfectly satisfied.
I had a roommate who was so cheap she stopped buying soap.. Luckily I had my own bathroom
Jesus H Christ
I mean, too bad you didn’t have your own apartment.
I’m saving up to go to my friends bachelors party in Vegas next year because I know it’s going to be expensive. If anyone complains about the price after knowing the plans a whole year in advance, they deserve to be roasted.
Saving money for the sake of saving money is an expensive endeavor. Not running the A/C in the summer will save you $30 that month, but will plant the spores of a more expensive future mold problem. Cutting the heat will save some money but increases the chance your pipes freeze and burst. Always spend the cash for comfort and high quality items. Spend $300 on a pair of shoes you can take care of for years instead of $100 on a shitty pair you’ll replace every year.
I was out with three other dudes in some dive about 15 years ago. We got a pizza and 2 people got sodas, 2 got beers. Check came, $16. Everyone throws in $5 and perfect, right? Nope, one asshole wants to throw in $4 “because I didn’t have a beer”. I still remember that cheapass move 15+ years later.
someone else’s tampon choices don’t affect you though…I’m with you on the bachelorette party but if someone wants to save money in a way that only affects them then power to them and I wish I had the self control.
This is gonna sound weird but I heard an ad on the radio yesterday for Lolo or Lulu or something that is a new startup tampon delivery service like Harry’s or Dollar Shave Club is for razors. So for any of you ladies out there that like 100% organic cotton tampons delivered to your door, hit them up.
Disclaimer: This is not in my wheelhouse, nor an ad, and I have no idea why I know details on a tampon delivery service but here we are.
Even that’s not ideal, but definitely better than someone who’s generous with themselves, but cheap when it affects other people
But why isn’t it ideal? Genuinely curious. Is it any different than if I buy $1 cup of noodles when you prefer gourmet lunch? It doesn’t affect you.
My ex used to turn off her AC everyday when she left for work…. in Florida. She wasn’t cheap, just psychotic.
I do the same thing. Why would I pay for the AC to be on when I’m not there? It literally cuts 8-10 hours or 30-40% of the cost of AC.
Are we talking all the way off or just like 10 degrees higher than usual? I don’t turn mine off when I leave the house, but it does idle at a temp about 10 degrees higher than I usually run it.