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I write to you as a broken man. Wedding season may very well kill me this year. Normally I am all about wedding season because I am a huge fan of all things involving formal attire, sunshine, open bars, and love. However, there is a reason for that age old saying “everything in moderation.” This summer has been a gauntlet.
Since May, I have been to two destination bachelor parties and four weddings. Both bachelor parties involved three-night stays with an egregious amount of debauchery, and three out of the four weddings were several hours away. We are coming up on the tail end of August and the Mrs. and I still have three more weddings on the calendar. I sound like a broken record at this point when someone asks, “Any plans for the weekend?,” and I respond, “Yup, going to another wedding.”
Don’t get me wrong, I can get behind having a few dozen cocktails under a white tent on a golf course, but when every single weekend is occupied by events planned by everyone else but myself, it becomes a bit exhausting. My ‘rents live 20 minutes away from me on a lake, and the Mrs. and I have been on the lake twice all summer. In a few short weekends I will be helping the old man take the dock out of the water because fall is quickly approaching. Think about how depressing that is.
The bank account is running a little thin. Hotels, suit rentals, travel costs, food, all of it is destroying any effort to save a buck before I am dumping heating oil into the tank again this winter. Yet there are still more expensive weekends on the horizon. I fear we may freeze this winter. Having been married I am aware of the financial burden a wedding puts on the betrothing couples, so the meal and the cocktails during the reception are greatly appreciated. However, this summer has given me a new perspective on the strain a wedding weekend puts on the attendees.
My liver is crawling to the finish line at this point. The thought of alcohol is giving me cold chills. I sit at my desk, slugging water and trying to rehydrate while I have the opportunity. The Mrs. is going to be celebrating the first of many 29th birthdays this weekend, and I have forewarned her that I may be taking the weekend off when it comes to boozing. It is the first time in my life I have truly felt as if I cannot hang. These next few weekends I’ll need a pep talk the likes of Carl Weathers’ to pull myself out of this slump, because I’ve officially lost the eye of the tiger. The struggle is real, folks.
This is not to say that I hate weddings. I love them. I love love. There have been some absolutely gorgeous weddings and every single one of them have been a blast. The chance to see two of your close friends making a lifelong commitment to each other is hopefully a once in a lifetime opportunity. However, this sort of activity is not sustainable, so I am putting my foot down. The Cushes will allot (2) weekends for weddings next summer and they will be on a on a first come, first serve basis. I apologize to those who we may have to decline. We will be with you in spirit but not in body. My ass is going to be firmly planted on the bow of a boat with a can of Miller Lite, probably. Send us your registry and we will mail you something. Or just elope because honestly, that’s easier for everyone..
Respond
@207Cush
As a side note, if you plan your wedding in the fall on a Saturday please know that I will have my phone out for 75% of that wedding. If you get offended by that, you probably shouldn’t have planned your wedding on a Saturday in the South… on rivalry weekend…
Came here to say this. My friend is getting married THIS WEEKEND DURING LABOR DAY AND WVU VS TENN IS ON AND THEY BOTH WENT TO WVU WTFFFFFFFFFF
My friend is getting married Saturday and her FIANCÉ PLAYED COLLEGE FOOTBALL. Of all fucking people you’d think he’d know better. Another friend is having a baby shower the first NFL Sunday. I need new friends.
Praying that at least the fiance’s team has a bye that week, otherwise that is just brutal
I’m in a wedding that was deliberately scheduled for the bye week. This is the only acceptable fall wedding scenario.
You have to end the friendship, that’s the only option here
Completely agree. My dad always told me that if I get married during CFB season and the Badgers play anytime after 3:00, he’ll basically be absent for my wedding. So you best believe I won’t be scheduling a wedding on any of those days…
I have 3 weddings this labor day weekend. not going to any of them and could not be more relieved
As the 30s approach, “sending my regrets” and a $50 check is the new ultimate wedding weekend.
I had a friend who chose to move back home to Boston from DC this year because she was attending/in TEN weddings plus bachelorette parties and couldn’t afford to keep flying back but also didn’t want to tell anyone no. Broke my heart.
unless all 10 weddings were all of my day 1’s, no way I would up-end my living situation to make it to all of them. Gotta say no at some point.
Sometimes you have to/should say no. If I had a bridesmaid who was going through this, I would totally get it if she declined. It’s a HUGE commitment on their part, too.
It’s better to be invited than to not be invited. I once didn’t get invited to a wedding for a couple I introduced to each other. 7 weddings in a year is definitely a bit much though.
I have 89 this year and 7 already for next year. Kill me.
9* not 89, jesus
I would kill to go to a wedding. I’m 22 never been to a wedding, but been to 15 funerals
That’s a hell of a lot of funerals, but just wait; once you hit 27-28 the weddings really start flooding in and then you’ll regret posting this.
Sounds like you need some help deciding which ones to go to and which ones to decline. @touching base. You guys need to do a segment on what you all consider when deciding whether or not to attend a wedding.
I think people need to realize that it’s COMPLETELY OKAY to decline a wedding. I have my 8th wedding of the year coming up and I am about ready to kill myself.
No excuses, play like a champion.
We only attended one wedding this year…
and I’m not the LEAST bit salty about it. Perks of keeping the squad small.