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People watching is one of my favorite pastimes. It’s a skill I’ve acquired over years of hard work. I have taught myself how to stare at people without overtly staring at them if that makes sense, and in between my usual observations – “Wow those Lulu joggers are doing wonders for that guys dickprint” or “Holy hell that girl’s butt looks amazing in those Outdoor Voices leggings” – I’ve been noticing a trend amongst women on the street, on public transportation, and at work.
They are all carrying a variation of the bag pictured above and I’m head over in heels in love with it. I have bag envy, and it’s for a very specific reason.
When I first got out of college I would bring a backpack with me to work. It was a small backpack, but it fit my laptop, a charger, my lunch for the day (usually a turkey sandwich and an apple or some shit), and my Nalgene water bottle comfortably.
The backpack was fine and all, but at the time I was required to wear sports coats and slacks to work most everyday, meaning that if I wanted to preserve the integrity of a freshly dry cleaned blazer, I had to go with the extremely sophomoric “one strap over the shoulder look.” And even then, one of the shoulders on my blazer was getting wrinkled. The other problem was that if I just wore the backpack as intended, my entire torso would get bunched up with my tucked in button down and blazer. It’s just an uncomfortable way to walk around if you’re wearing a suit.
This finally became too much for me to handle sometime around age 24 when I decided that I was ready for a briefcase, or at least the millennial version of a briefcase.
You know what I’m talking about – a soft laptop case with a handle on it. This was certainly a more convenient way to get my computer to and from work everyday, the only problem was I couldn’t bring anything else with me unless I wanted to give up my other free hand for a lunchbox.
In a city, it’s imperative that you have at least one of your hands free at all times to open doors for attractive women, shoo away people on the street asking for money, and most importantly to look at your phone.
I stuck with the briefcase for about a month before I caved and went back to the backpack. Ever since then I’ve just been uncomfortable with a backpack on me, that is until it dawned on me – I’ve been wearing women’s blouses for the better part of four months now – what the hell is stopping me from copping a Longchamp women’s handbag and turning the commute game completely on its head?
You can’t tell me that all of my problems aren’t immediately solved by buying one of these bad boys. And on top of that, these bags look fly as hell. I’m Jerry Seinfeld for a new generation.
I can let it hang halfway up my arm, leaving not one but two hands free for whatever the hell I want. I can easily fit a sack lunch, my laptop, and a water bottle in there. Hell, I could probably fit some shorts, a t-shirt, and a pair of shoes in there if I want to hit the gym after work. I could use this as a weekender bag. I could go Robert Durst on all of you and chop a body up into pieces, fit it into this thing and still have room for my laptop and a bagged lunch.
The more I look at pictures of it the more I’m convincing myself that this is the answer to all of my problems. It’s 2018, and if I want to carry a large women’s handbag around instead of an impractical backpack, that is my decision. Maybe this will catch on, but I doubt it – toxic masculinity is still a very real thing in our society and I don’t think a lot of men are ready to admit that fashion is fluid. Who will be laughing though when I have all of my things in a readily available bag that I don’t have to carry around on my back? Me, that’s who..
Respond
jduda@grandex.co
If only they made something like this for men. Something that say, a messenger would use.
That would be great, you wouldn’t even have to let it hang halfway on your arm. I’m sure someone could also work in backpack functionality into certain designs as well, such as for situations where you want to really pack it full of stuff for a weekend trip. This could be a million dollar idea, hope nobody else has already put these into production.
Laptop fanny pack
Messenger bag presents the same problem as the backpack re: wrinkling of blazers – it’s draped over your shoulder
Get a front side baby carrier and put all your stuff in there, jacket goes on after. Ultimate hands free utility.
Is the stock title picture not of a guy holding a backpack by the top strap?
Also, a satchel is the only way to go.
I am so confused about this too- that guy has a backpack.
Oh boy, here we go… Queue the matching blouse jokes.
I leave my suit coats at work and wear a light backpack over my button down. To me, a backpack is an easier carry than a purse
[Blouse comment!]
To all the men out there looking for a good bag for work, check out Daniel’s NYC. Easy, stylish and affordable. #spon
Women’s garments and accessories certainly seem to be your bag, JD. Get a Filson bag and be done with it.
Macaulay Culkin was just on Joe Rogan saying he’s not ashamed to have a purse. What is it with men and purses lately?
is this Jonathan from Queer Eye?
Between this and the women’s blouse thing, are you trying to tell us something?