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The following email was sent from Caroline on a Wednesday morning at 10:30 a.m. while she avoided actually working. Included on this email were Katie, Alex, Victoria, and Megan.
Heyyyyyyyyy ladieeeeeeeeeeees,
Soooooooooo I figured I’d get the ball rolling on what we should do for a little BaChElOrEttE CelEbRaTiOn. I know, I know, it’s early af but I figured we don’t have too many of these left so we need to do it up right (and before anyone gets pregnant lol).
The wedding isn’t until next year but that doesn’t mean we can’t get some preliminary planning out of the way. If we can make it even half as fun as mine was in Cabo, I think we’ll get her and Todd’s nups off to a good start.
I talked to her over butter coffees last week and we discussed a few different locations:
Seaside: I know we’ve already done this but I figured it would be perfect for it. Plus we haven’t been there in, like, two years and my long sleeve ‘Seaside’ shirt from the last trip is getting pretty ratty.
Cabo: We could use my dad’s villa again but tbh I don’t think she’ll want to do anything we’ve already done. If we know anything about her, it’s that she wants to stand out Hahaahahaha don’t tell her I said that or she’ll end up making someone else Maid of Honor.
Canyon Ranch Spa: This is a “wellness resort” in either Tucson or Vegas. All-inclusive and super ‘grammable, but we all know how the yoga retreat went *eye roll emoji* We’d probably just end up at the Rehab pool in Vegas if we choose this one.
(And tbh that might not be a bad thing, just don’t get too drunk and fall in. Looking at you, Alex.)
Charleston: We haven’t been there since the Sigma Chi formal junior year but it’s pretty much the perfect bach party destination. I already looked at Airbnbs and they’re supes affordable, plus there are hella oyster bars. Oyster bar crawl anyone???
Malibu: I did this for my sister-in-law’s bachelorette party and it was uh-maze-ing. I could easily get her entire itinerary and we could base our trip off of that. We did a Malibu Wine Safari where you just drink wine and pet giraffes and I think everyone averaged 250 to 300 likes on the photos from it. Kylie Jenner put it on her story once so you know it’s legit.
Tulum: Pretty much *the* destination rn. I hardly know anything about it other than 1. it looks dope 2. it’s not that expensive to get to. 3. none of us have gone yet and 4. we need to do it before it becomes passé.
I also talked with a girl I know who has like 35K followers and she said that another option near Tulum would be Holbox. It’s like Tulum, but not overrun with Insta models and bros.
Newport, Rhode Island: Okay, okay, hear me out. I know you probably read that and said, “WTF? Rhode Island?” but it’s actually really cool. I took a family trip there with John last year and it was amazing. It’s right on the water and there are a ton of mansions there. The Marriott there is v cool but we’d probably be better off getting a ~beachy~ Airbnb. John and I were there over Restaurant Week and every place had prix fixe menus for under $40. She’s such a foodie that she’d probs love it.
Nantucket: Again, not really your typical bachelorette party destination but it could be so cool if we did it later this summer. Maybe The Hamptons as an alternative? IDK. It could be bougie but still pretty affordable and easier to get to than Tulum or Malibu.
I’ve looked up flights for all this and they’re all well within our price range. Not that any of that matters though because if you don’t go you’ll probably get uninvited from the wedding sooooooooooooo yeah, we’re all going no matter what.
Here are some questions I have for all of you:
1. Which options sound the best? I made a Doodle so you can all vote and we can go from there.
2. Are there any hard dates where anyone CAN’T go? Don’t come to me with any birthday or baby shower bullshit because this is more important and she’ll be the first to tell me that. Unless you have a family member dying or you have a wedding to go to, I don’t wanna hear it.
3. Do we know what Todd is doing for his yet? She mentioned doing a joint bach/bachelorette party but I don’t think that’s a good idea. While the cat’s away, the mice will play amirite? That being said, they’ll probably do Derby or Kiawah again because #ofcourse.
4. Does anyone have a hookup for personalizing stuff? I’m talking cups, swimsuits, etc. and so on. We can always shop at Private Party for swimsuits but I’m so over spending that much for them to just slap letters onto one-pieces. Plus, she’ll want everything completely customized for her anyway so going with a pre-made shit isn’t exactly an option.
5. Who else do I need to invite? Like, does Todd have any sisters? What about that Claire girl that’s been around lately? I feel like they’re two dinners away from her being in the wedding party *eye roll emoji* LMK and I can send them a separate email. You ladies are the most important and I don’t need anyone else to swoop in and try to plan for us.
Okay!!!! Sorry, I know I wrote a lot but I’m booooooored. If anyone gets through this before lunch today, I’m craving Whole Foods hot bar so just hmu and we can meet there.
So excited to plan this with all of you!
Oh, and also, please don’t forward this to her. She give me some brief ideas but I want to make sure we plan this and not stress her out while she’s trying to plan the actual wedding.
Loves,
-C .
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
defriewf
will@grandex.co
Holy shit you actually made a real Doodle poll. Way to make TGDAG interactive.
I can’t believe that many of us voted on his Doodle poll.
Will promised us some fire content after skipping last week, and he went above and beyond
Yea seriously. Is he going to make the party at whatever location gets the most votes? Because if so, that’s basically making TGDAG like Give Yourself Goosebumps.
His current feud with some lady on twitter regarding TGDAG is going above and beyond his promise. This is pure entertainment and I’m here for it. #TeamWill
This twitter feud is the best thing to happen to this series since girl got Sperry
I mean…its not quite as good…but close.
I’m pretty sure the State Department released a warning to not travel to Tulum earlier this year because it was potentially dangerous so I vote they go there. #CabezaWatch
TGDAG: Get murdered by a drug cartel and end up in an unmarked mass grave
If it turns into a hostage situation, you know her dad could fund it though.
Her dad doesn’t negotiate with terrorists.
I’d hope he’d take that money out of her wedding fund though
That’s normally why things turn into hostage situations
I hope he Getty’s her
Sorry I’m late to the punch, but damn straight.
“I know, I know, it’s early af but I figured we don’t have too many of these left so we need to do it up right (and before anyone gets pregnant lol).”
The subtle shade that Girl is one of the last to get married is IMPECCABLE.
Could be shade at Victoria and Megan who as far as we know are kinda perpetually single in this series (?)
“Oh, and please don’t forward this to her because I don’t want her to know all the shit we talk about her”.
This is the whitest email I’ve ever seen.
This is like a choose your own adventure book. This content is next level shit.
And fuck it, I went with Nantucket.
I hate that I voted in this. But I couldn’t NOT vote in this.
Trying to pick the location that is the best for content, it’s hard.
Think we gotta go tulum here, solely for the most interesting content and highest chance for girl to cheat on Todd and ruin the relationship
I picked Newport for the mansion envy and likelihood of cheating with a trust fund guy.
Why are you so good at writing like a girl, Will?
Honestly had to Google where Tulum is
Me too
same here