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Eric awoke with a start and immediately regretted it. His back felt like someone was driving a stake through it, his head pounded like the bass of a shitty Tiesto song, and to his dismay, the loud groaning that had woken him up appeared to be emanating from his own mouth.
“What the fuuuuck,” he rasped as he slowly picked himself off the hardwood floor where he had been sleeping. As he stumbled to the kitchen and began lapping water straight from the sink like the dog he was, a million questions ran through his mind. What time was it? What had transpired after he took that shot of tequila? Why, if he had a designated bed in the cabin, had he passed out on the fucking floor? As he attempted to find two brain cells to rub together, he heard a familiar voice behind him.
“Morning, sleepy head. How’d the floor treat you?”
He turned to see Jack and Andrew standing behind him, grinning. Andrew looked like Eric felt, but Jack, upsettingly, looked fine. So fine, in fact, that he was still wearing his clothes from last night.
“Dude, what happened last night? Also, have you not slept yet?”
Jack reached past him to the fridge to snag a beer. He loudly cracked one and drank, oblivious to the grimaces of everyone else in the room as they realized they would soon have to start drinking again.
“Well, in response to your second question, I met a girl at the club and went back to her room last night, so you can guess how much sleep I got…” Jack winked at their blank faces, and continued, “…plenty, because I lasted a healthy five minutes and then passed the fuck out.”
Eric and Andrew chuckled and shook their heads as Kyle entered the kitchen, beelining for the sink and pouring himself a large glass of water. He chugged it desperately and refilled it before finally acknowledging everyone else in the room. He looked at Eric and smirked.
“How’re you feeling, big spender?
Eric’s smile disappeared in an instant. Big spender was the last nickname he wanted to have in a city full of casinos. Kyle saw the panic on his face and continued.
“Relax, I pulled you away from the blackjack table before you could do any real damage. Plus, I’m pretty sure the guy next to you was about to beat your ass for falling asleep on his shoulder, so if anything, you saved money by not ending up in the hospital.”
That line of logic did anything but calm Eric down, and he heard his friends burst out laughing as he ran to the other room, searching for his phone that could provide answers.
* * * *
“Think fast!”
Eric turned and caught the Coors Light Kyle tossed at him, cracked it, and turned back to the girl he was chatting with, who immediately teased him for “thinking he was so smooth.” Teasing or not, he felt good. The sun was blazing high above the beach, his beer was cold, and his group had immediately hit it off with the girls who set up camp next to them.
After the initial icebreakers and introductions, their groups had split off and formed other mini-groups, as always happens after a while. Kyle and Jack were down by the water, talking to three of the girls who had boyfriends. They were content with taking one for the team; Jack because he was still riding the high of his questionable success the night before, and Kyle because he was so drunk he wasn’t aware that he had no chance of taking any of them home.
That left Andrew and Eric as the last men standing, and so far, everything was going perfectly. Eric was hitting it off with a blonde named Heather. Or was it Hannah? Shit. He nodded and smiled as she talked, not listening as he desperately tried to remember.
“Christ, I was so intent on not staring at her skimpy bikini top that I didn’t use any brain power on remembering her name,” he thought to himself. “Do I just admit I forgot it? Do I power on, assuming that it won’t come up? How often do people’s names come up again in conversation? Should I just call her ‘babe’ from now on? I mean, it’s definitely a douchebag move, but I feel like she’s into me enough where I could pull it off. Wait, maybe she’ll just bring it up on her own. Maybe I should actually be listening to her, instead of being in my head like an idiot!”
With a barely perceptible jolt, Eric’s eyes refocused and he tuned back into what the nameless girl was saying.
“-took my car away when I got in trouble for ditching class, but luckily I got it back in time to make this trip!”
She smiled widely, and drunkenly, at him as he opened his mouth to respond. And then closed it. He squinted as his brain, foggy with alcohol, slowly replayed the last few seconds of conversation.
“Took the car away? Ditching class? Why does that sound so weird? I haven’t heard those phrases since…SHIT.”
Eric’s voice sounded high in his throat as he looked quizzically at the girl he had been flirting with for the past few hours.
“Where did you say you went to college again? You said you were in the nursing program, I might know someone who has connections there.”
The girl eyes widened as she stammered, “Uh, it’s actually a really small school, you probably haven’t heard of it. I just started there too, so I don’t know too many people-“
Eric cut her off with a voice equally filled with skepticism and panic.
“Look, I’m sorry to be rude, but are you in high school? Because if so, Hailey, you need to tell me.”
Great. Now he remembered her name. She dropped her eyes and said quietly, “I’m sorry. You guys are really cute and we didn’t want to tell you because we thought you wouldn’t talk to us. We all turn eighteen this year though!”
Eric exhaled slowly as he tried to fight his panic. He had been so close to asking her if she wanted to head back to their cabin. What if they had said yes? What if…his train of thought stopped dead as he looked to his left and saw Andrew and the girl he was talking to draw closer together. His brain, spurred on by horror, broke the shackles of alcohol and went into overdrive.
The world plunged into slow motion as he saw Andrew put a hand to the girl’s face and slowly lean in for a kiss. He tried to yell, but he couldn’t make his mouth move fast enough. It was a race against time, and he was losing.
“Andrew! She’s…in…high…schoooool!” .
Respond
Nick Arcadia
The opposite of a life coach. Email or DM me if you want some bad advice: nickarcadiapgp@gmail.com
@noampao
noamio
“That’s what I love about these high schools girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.”
Love the stock photo butt today
Made out with a high school chick when I was 16 once. It was pretty hot.
This has me jacked to the tits for a bachelor party in Tahoe during cinco de mayo weekend
I’m picturing this scene like the one from American Reunion and Eric is Jim
Man, that last part felt like the climax of an action movie… Shesh
Gotta love those high school girls, man
Need some legal advice from David here. What happens if they lie to you about their age? Is that a valid legal defense in the court of law?
A quick google search tells me the age of consent is 16 in Nevada and 18 in California so I hope the boys are on the right side of the state line. Also hope IT isn’t concerned about me googling age of consent.
Not Dave, but I’m a lawyer. In many states, this would be treated as a strict liability crime. In other words, it doesn’t matter what you believed or if they lied to you, you would still be guilty of committing a crime.
Goddamn. Forget reform around drugs and three strikes. We need criminal just reform around this.
This gives me flashbacks to every time high school girls managed to get into parties at my school. Quickest way to get the scaries, except maybe for “we need to talk.”
Still wouldn’t beat I’m late
Idk, it’s possible to get out of that situation, albeit not without ethical quandary. Much harder to explain to the authorities why you were inadvertently hooking up with a 16 or 17 y/o.
18 is 18 chill out
They’re 17. And in high school. Not a good look.
Read as
“Turned 18”. I’ll take this one, it’s not my day
“Age is just a number” While technically true, is still one of the creepiest phrases I’ve ever heard.