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I recently moved across the country and started a new job, and one of my first orders of business was to set up payroll with the new company. This meant that I’d need a voided check from my financial institution, and I decided to start fresh with new accounts at a large Midwestern bank. I headed to my nearest branch after work one day and was seated in the waiting room browsing Reddit on my phone when she walked in. This girl was attractive, but not entirely in the conventional sense. She was pretty, but at the same time gave off the vibe of being approachable and fun.
Girl and I were alone in the waiting area, and over the next few minutes, we exchanged a quick glance or two at each other. At one point, the Snapchat tone sounded on her phone, and she opened up the snap and let out a hushed laugh. Her laugh was really cute, and it made me even more interested than I had been already. It was nearly silent in the bank save for the Foreigner track that was quietly playing on the PA system, and I thought about possibly complimenting her coat or something like that. It was a really nice coat.
Just as I was going over my options, we were both called over to do the business we’d come to the bank to do. We were seated across from our bankers, and we just so happened to be in cubicles right next to each other. Some time went by, and somewhere around the time my banker was discussing the benefits of their Cash Plus Signature Card, Girl looked at me and smiled through the glass part of the wall dividing the cubicles. Oh, it’s on now.
We exchanged a few more quick looks at each other while our respective bankers droned on about their gold checking packages, but then it came time for me to write my signature for my new accounts. The electronic signature pad was malfunctioning, however, and my banker had to go to the back room and find a new one. This left me alone for about two minutes, and I was quietly humming along to Bruce Springsteen when the music suddenly cut off. That left the bank almost completely silent, and I began to hear the chatter of the girl next to me and her banker.
The girl’s voice was calm and a bit higher-pitched than average, and it made me absolutely melt. Almost immediately, though, I realized that I should not be listening to what she’s saying. After all, this was a private meeting with her banker. She could be divulging personal information, and I don’t need to hear it. I want this girl’s phone number, not her social security number. It would’ve been way easier not to hear her if there was music playing, but a new song inexplicably still hadn’t started. I tried to drown her out by thinking about work, the NFL playoffs, or literally anything else, but it totally backfired and I noticed her voice even more than I already had. This was when the problems started.
Girl was discussing a credit card with her banker. He went over each of the bank’s options, and she asked several questions about each one. That’s a pretty normal thing to do, but these were dumb questions. She didn’t understand the concept of APR, and later on it became apparent that she hadn’t the slightest clue how credit works. Qualified purchases? Automatic Bill Pay? Cash advances? It was all lost on her. The conversation then shifted to her checking account, and she didn’t know what a fucking overdraft fee was. Meanwhile, I was discovering something about myself that I hadn’t really thought of before: Lack of financial literacy is apparently an extreme turnoff for me.
We both finished up our consultations at the same time, which would have been absolutely perfect if this meet cute hadn’t shattered before my eyes. We walked toward the exit, I held the door for her, and I was making a beeline for my car when a really cute voice called out to me.
“Hey!” she said. “I’m new here, do you know which road I should take to get to (Suburb)?”
“Take the 494,” I replied. I then got into my car and left.
Image via Max Pixel
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WJ Cope
He's just wondering how long it's acceptable to call himself a "recent graduate."
@westifer33
@wescope33
wildwildwes33
Never pass up on a Snack. You never know when your next meal will be.
Sounds more like you didn’t have the guts to pull the trigger on this one and used her questions as an excuse
I’d argue with you on that, but I spent Valentine’s Day evening drinking Long Island out of a fishbowl before going home alone. You right
Probably means she has a rich dad. Missed out on her trust fund and early retirement.
This guy gets it
Also, if someone doesn’t know something, isn’t it a good sign that they sought out help and the correct answers?
I was going to comment similar to this. She might be ignorant to all these terms and nuances, but they aren’t dumb questions if she doesn’t know. I’d rather have a girl ask then find out a few months down the road that she has a huge balance that is racking up fees and interest.
My first thought as well. Ya really dropped the ball here
Wow, very dumb. You not her.
I get it. Not knowing about overdraft fee or direct deposit in 2018 is kinda brutal. That being said, my now wife didn’t know how to grocery shop and compare items by looking at the price per ounce. Sometimes it’s just ignorance of upbringing and not ever needing to know those things until 23.
Strongly agree. I once went on a date with a guy who didn’t know the difference between a debit card and a credit card, hard pass.
username checks out.
Also sup, wanna be my general partner so we can become accredited investors under Reg D?
Can’t tell if this is a euphemism or a legit inquiry.
…same
Not a euphemism! It’s how a lot of fund managers sell unregistered securities.
I talked too fiscally to you. I’ll scale it back next time.
Brb, sliding into your DM’s
I did the same exact thing yesterday, except it wasn’t because something about her turned me off, but because I didn’t have the balls to say something. I mean, this girl walked RIGHT PAST ME and I didn’t say shit. I’m still pissed at myself about it, and I have failed #ShootYourShot2018. Sorry Dillion.
Honestly I wonder how many times this happens to me. I don’t know if I’d be comfortable outright asking someone out in person, during the day, sober, but I’d definitely make some small talk and open up the possibility.
Welcome to Minneapolis, we’re not all bad here. Also we don’t put “the” in front of our highway numbers.
You had the opportunity to meet a decently attractive girl (with what I assume is not a Minnesota accent) in Minneapolis and you passed?
Don’t play yourself like that.
You missed an opportunity to be able to share all your top notch financial intelligence with a girl who was probably a catch and would’ve appreciated your help. Now, as if we already don’t have plenty, you’ve left a financially illiterate fish to continue swimming around in the sea