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There are a lot of things you can do at the gym to make me hate you. Don’t wipe your sweat off the machines. Crop dust me with a fart when I’m benching. Have the audacity to be using a machine I want when I want it. These are all things that piss me off. However, I’ve recently heard a lot of hate for other habits that, frankly, I’m totally cool with. In fact, I may start adopting some of these.
1. Dancing to your music
As someone who has skipped my workout altogether when I realized I forgot my headphones, I know how crucial music is to getting your pump on. And what good would that music be if it didn’t get you all fired up? If what you’ve got blasting on your headphones is getting you so jacked up that you gotta move around between sets, I support that. Whether you’re headbanging, dancing, or doing that rapping hand motion, I get it. As long as you’re not moving into my workout zone or, god forbid, singing out loud, I say let the beat flow through you.
2. Aggressive pump up routines
Once again, as long as you’re not being loud, I don’t give a shit what you gotta do to get yourself ready to lift heavy pieces of metal. I’ve seen people do high-knees, talk to their muscles, and even punch themselves. It’s a bit intense, sure, but it probably works. I’m not going to pretend like I’ve never slapped myself a few times to get the adrenaline going (only if the gym is empty though, otherwise I can’t justify all the hype up only to lift extremely average weight).
3. Asking strangers to spot you
I recently found out this was hated on behavior, and it shocked me. We’re all adults with different schedules and gyms, you can’t expect people to always have a gym buddy they workout with. If I’m working chest, you can be damn sure I’m asking someone to make sure I don’t drop the bar on my throat. I recently had a guy give me attitude after my set with a “looks like you didn’t really need a spot.” Maybe not, man-wearing-jean-shorts, but I’m not about to die the most embarrassing death ever because I didn’t have anyone to spot me. As long as they don’t interrupt me in the middle of my set, I’ll be happy to spot anyone who asks.
4. Wearing any kind of gym attire
Everyone and their mother has an opinion on what is or isn’t appropriate to wear to the gym. If you’re wearing and old frat cut off, they’ll tell you to grow up. If you’re showing too much skin, they’ll say you’re just there to meet a guy. I don’t give a shit. As long as you’re not bothering me and my workout, I couldn’t care less what anyone else is wearing. If you need a Venice Beach cutoff to show off your lats, go for it. If you want to be dripped in Lulu or Nike, work it. When you look good, you feel good. As long as you’re actually working out, no one should care what you’re wearing. Plus, we’re all checking ourselves out in the mirrors constantly anyway. Don’t lie.
5. Squatting without shoes
Yes, it’s weird. The first time I saw someone doing this all I could think about was how bad that would suck if he dropped a weight on his foot. But then I became intrigued. Three months later, I’m officially all in on the shoeless squat train. I don’t know if there is any actual science behind it, but it makes me feel more balanced and grounded, and I feel like I can go deeper on my squats. I wouldn’t venture out of the rack for fear of catching a weight to the toe, and I definitely wouldn’t go barefoot because that’s fucking disgusting, but if you want to try this out, I totally support it.
6. Hitting on other members
As long as you can be flirty without being creepy, and are ok with getting rejected, fuck it, go for it. Life is too short to worry about whether it’s acceptable to go talk to someone. As long you’re not aggressively persistent or bothering people, most people shouldn’t be annoyed by you trying to talk to them. However, by prepared to get rejected. A lot. People are at their least approachable in the gym. Everyone just wants to keep their headphones in, stay in the zone, and do the minimum workout it takes to justify the late night gyro they had last weekend. When you get shut down, keep it cool, and don’t try and talk to that person again. Getting banned from your gym for creepin’ on everyone is not a good look.
7. Dropping your weights
Weights are fucking heavy, and sometimes the safest way to put them down is to drop them. If you’re pushing yourself, and that dumbbell is about to fall on your face, feel free to drop that puppy. However, make sure that your weight stays near you and doesn’t go hopping around the gym like a bunny that feeds on Achilles tendons. As long as I don’t have to worry about your 30lb dumbbell rolling all the way to the squat rack and breaking my shoeless toe, drop away.
8. Grunting/moaning/screaming
You know what’s hard? Lifting heavy things. You know what people who exert themselves do? Make noises. Sometimes when you’re digging deep for that last rep, or minute of plank, or sprint on the treadmill, you involuntarily make some noise. I sound like a breaching whale when I’m trying to max out, and I take no shame in it. Don’t be shy, though. If you make some weird or especially loud noises, you can’t get mad at others for looking. Own the spotlight. Grunt like Serena and let everyone know you just murdered those four pull-ups. .
Image via YouTube
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Nick Arcadia
The opposite of a life coach. Email or DM me if you want some bad advice: nickarcadiapgp@gmail.com
@noampao
noamio
How is wearing gym attire obnoxious? What are you supposed to wear, khakis?
In light of recent trends I think a romper would appropriate
Don’t even joke about that
And a bucket hat
Love me a good bucket hat
Cargos
Only betas drop weights on the cable machine….its a fucking cable machine and that’s how you crack the plates that are connected to said cables and take the machine out of service for the rest of us.
I mean I support anything that involves not giving a fuck what other people are doing so, right on.
sup?
are we allowed to do this again?
It wasn’t not allowed, it was just suggested we A) not do it a lot, or B) make sure it’s clearly a funny joke, and that it couldn’t be construed in an aggressive or creepy manner. At least that’s what I got out of it.
I still hate all the huge guys walking around almost naked and the dudes who grunt like they’re having sex. Besides that, solid takes.
If someone grunted like they were lifting weights while sexing me I would nope the hell out of that situation.
You grunt while having sex?
Dude, I can’t remember, it’s been a while.
you don’t?
I’m pretty sure I don’t. I’ll report back next time sex is had. Don’t hold your breath though…
Shoeless deadlifter. It makes it easier somehow.
As long as you don’t have some crazy toenail fungus or something, I don’t see any issue with it. From a safety standpoint, unless you are rocking steel-toed boots to the gym, dropping the weights on your foot is still going to do some damage.
You don’t go full savage and go barefoot you just slip your shoes off and lift with your socks on.
Think of how hard it is to get up out of a bean bag chair vs standard chair. The reason is because of the cushion. When you push down on the bean bag, force is spread-out through the chair and lost.
This is principal applies to your shoes (which are probably cross-trainers / running shoes). It’s great when your pounding your feat against the pavement while running, terrible when you’re trying to squat / deadlift.
What gym are you going to that allows you not to wear shoes?
You just take them on and off during that exercise. You don’t like, walk around barefoot. Unless you don’t want toes.
I’m always intrigued by the guy working out in jeans or khaki (shorts/pants)
In college it was always the Indian/Asian dudes who would spend 20 minutes on a machine barely do anything.
Great column. How can anyone be expected to NOT do rap hands when “Mask Off” comes on?
At my gym, there’s a guy who does some pelvic thrusting workout while also grunting in a very high pitch fashion. it’s very uncomfortable
Bridges are good for glutes, hammies, and posture though.
right but we have to do bridges while sounding like you are having ravenous sex?
Gotta train the way you compete
The guy who hogs a bench/machine (s) when he just sits there taking five minute breaks and messing around with his phone or headphones. Dude, finish your set and gtfo.
Used to be this one super skinny guy who would come into the same gym as me. Would take up one of the three squat racks to “foam roll” both his legs for several minutes and then squat 2-3 times before taking a 10 minute break to stare at his phone and text, I hated that kid.
Great takes. Sometimes you just have to headbang to some Lamb of God or Pantera before you pick up heavy shit.
Ayyyyeeeeeeeeee