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After living in Chicago for the past two years, I think I’ve got a decent grip on the city. I moved here after graduating college, and as such, have had the experience of getting to know this amazing city as someone still deeply rooted in the post-grad lifestyle. For all those who have recently moved, or are thinking about moving here, hopefully this guide gives you some useful knowledge, or at the very least, shows you a cool place to get drunk.
The first thing you have to know about Chicago is that it’s sectioned into eight major neighborhoods. It’s actually made up of way more than that, but there’s no way I could cover the ridiculous amount of Chicago nightlife if I included all of them (plus I pretty much go to the same few bars every weekend). Here’s my list of the best places to go out in each neighborhood.
Logan Square
It’s very “real,” if you’re into that sort of thing. I am not, so I’ve only been there once, when I took my girlfriend to a Jazz club called The Whistler. The ambiance was somewhat like a speakeasy, the cocktails were fancy but affordable, and the Jazz was extremely funky. After that music got me all riled up I ended up at the Emporium Arcade Bar down the street to let my adrenaline out in the form of whooping her ass at foosball. They also had pool, air hockey, as well as many classic arcade games, so you can pick your favorite way to get all your friends to hate each other.
Wrigleyville
This is the exact opposite of Logan Square. Located on the street around the Cub’s stadium, it’s usually filled with drunk douchebags attempting to take out their anger at paying nine dollars for a stadium cup of Miller on anyone around them. That being said, it’s a ton of fun on game days, or nights when you just want to black out and maybe get in a fight (I’m not judging, we’ve all been there). My favorite bar on the strip is Sluggers, which features dueling pianos, arcade games, and batting cages. As you can tell, I have the attention span of an alcoholic goldfish, and like bars with activities.
Lincoln Park/Lakeview
These interchangeable neighborhoods are where most people who aren’t finance bros or trust fund kids live. It’s nice, yet affordable, and is home to a million different neighborhood bars. I frequent Hook And Ladder, which is a great place to post up on a football Sunday and watch fifty TVs at once while enjoying $2.50 beers. I recently made the mistake of going there on a Saturday night, however, and learned that it makes a seamless transition into a raging college bar at night. Proceed at your own risk. A couple other favorites are Stanley’s for a good dance floor or Sheffields if you’re craving a beer garden. Lakeview is also home to the gay bars of Boystown, although the few times I’ve been there I was too drunk to remember any of the names of the places I went, so I have no advice.
River North
This is where all the aforementioned finance bros and trust fund kids live (or just anyone doing pretty well for themselves, I suppose.) This is where you’ll find all the douchey clubs you secretly crave every once in a while. Whether you just went through a breakup and have convinced yourself you’re going out to get laid, or just love spending $20 on cover, this is where you’ll find $16 vodka sodas, bottle service, and girls falling down stairs in six-inch heels. If you’re going to go here, you might as well steer into the storm of douchebagery and go to Studio Paris. It’s everything you love to hate in a club. You will not get laid, and you will hate yourself in the morning.
Old Town
This is my favorite place to go out. Old Town is the perfect mix between the high-energy atmosphere of River North and the prices of Lincoln Park. Woodie’s Flat is an awesome three-story bar that features a DJ on the weekends and Goldfish racing on weekdays, if you (like me) care more about winning than possible animal cruelty. If you venture across the street, you can also enjoy an enormous spiked Arnold Palmer at Fireplace Inn that hold about six shots, or roughly one blackout.
Gold Coast
The atmosphere here is what would happen if you take everyone out of the River North nightclubs, feed them five extra shots of well tequila, and stick them back in the club. If you’re looking to black out and have a sloppy dance floor make out that your friends roast you for in the morning, this is the place you want to be. Obviously, I love it. Highlights include Hopsmith, where the beer flows out of an old VW van that’s been cut in half, and my personal favorite, Hangge Uppe. Hangge Uppe is a bar that was modeled (in décor, smell, and staff) after a frat house basement. Both times I’ve had to buy Plan B since moving to this city was as a direct result of this dive bar/club. They play sing-along 90’s jams and you can pre-order shots from the bar while you wait in line to get in. Fantastic.
Wicker Park
Wicker Park is Logan Square all grown up. What used to be grungy, hipstery uniqueness is now young families and professionals. There are still some remaining bars clinging to the spirit of old Wicker, such as Rainbo Club, but I’d recommend Fatpour to anyone in the area. With 40+ beers on tap, a DJ on weekends, and a $5 PBR & shot deal, it’s not unique, but it is a good time. The dance floor usually peaks around 11 p.m., when all the hipsters at neighboring bars get drunk enough to realize they want to have a good time and make their way over. Wicker Park is also the Chicago capitol of hot moms, so…do with that information what you will.
I’ve barely covered the tip of the iceberg that is Chicago’s extensive nightlife, so if you have any more questions or recommendations, feel free to let me know. .
Respond
Nick Arcadia
The opposite of a life coach. Email or DM me if you want some bad advice: nickarcadiapgp@gmail.com
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Just ask Duda where he hangs out and avoid those spots.
“How to navigate the Chicago bar scene through all the hipsters and Dudas”
I think Duda is the amalgm of a douchebag who wants to act like a hipster when it suits him in his quest to piss everyone off for attention. He should meet my girlfriend. They would hate each other.
If you stay in Chicago, you will look back on this article in 2-3 years and laugh heartily at yourself.
This would have been helpful the first time I went to Chicago for a weekend trip. Quickly learned on a Saturday night that boystown is not a place full of sports bars and strip clubs as I imagined. I thought it was a place you went “with the boys” not a place you went “for the boys”.
did you not notice the rainbow flags? lol
From what I remember, it wasn’t super clear that it was a popular spot for the LGBT folks. We didn’t really figure it out until we noticed that ratio at a few of the bars we went to was strongly favored towards the male side of things. A quick google search explained the rest. Seemed like a decent spot to hang out, just not what we were looking for.
Is that where you got pink eye?
As a resident of Logan Square and a fan of the “real,” I endorse this.
Hangge Uppe is where my wife and her friends have gone for a zillion bachelorette parties. I’ve only been there once but “frat house basement” describes it perfectly.
Logan Square is great for food and some really good cocktails. Lakeview and Wrigleyville are perfect during summer days like you said. Old Town is easily the best mix of people. Hangge Uppe is the best damn bar in the city after 1am.
I once did a line off the beer stand in the bathroom, that place will bring out your worst
That’s why I love that place, such great character there. The bathroom on the lowest level once flooded while I was there, like out onto the dance area, so they just closed that floor and made everyone go into the other rooms. Kept the place open the rest of the night though.
I really think you’re sugar coating and over selling hange uppe, man. It’s the dingy, late night basement bar everyone goes to for their last ditch effort to get laid. Tons of creepy dudes post up along the walls staring. Place is packed, ass to elbow with 21 year olds. Maybe a cool place fresh out of college, but you can’t as a mid 20 something plus say you went there the night before with any self respect. IMO
I don’t know what to tell you if you don’t like horrible drunk dance moves while belting out the best 45 seconds of every 80s and 90s song.
Oh I do. It is both that and what Nick and I said. Just for anyone unfamiliar with it so they’re not led astray.
You’re not wrong
This warmed my heart
Solid bar taste, Nick. Old Town and Lincoln Park are life.
You are forgetting about Bottle Blonde or the Mid! Haha
Would be pretty neat if someone could do this for D.C. San Fran. Ect.
This was v accurate and I’m Chit town born and raised. That being said Sheffields all day
Love me some LP (Burwood Tap is the go-to) but I’m disappointed you left out West Loop – best restaurants in the city & decent bar scene
i lived on w. wrightwood, like 1/2 a block from burwood!
i also just did a google street view to see if everything still looked the same and my old apartment building is being torn down!! sad days.
Love burwood
I’ve heard it’s pretty sweet, but I’ve never been out there. Any suggestions?
Restaurants: Au Cheval, Duck Duck Goat are awesome burger /Asian
Bars: Federales or the Parlour Pizza there are pretty good
Lone Wolf is great too
I think I had only been out that way for one NYE. Can’t remember really.
Sheffield’s is the shit. Also love Kirkwood and Mad River in Lakeview
Mad River is the wooooooooorst
Mad River is in fact, the worst, but unlimited drinks for $10 is not even close to the worst
haha I haven’t been in years but I loved going there when I was 22 and still broke after college
9 o’s. Rough experience, but not bad enough to get that 10th “o”
Mad River is a terrible establishment.
Nothing like a $15 dollar blackout during happy hour on a Friday night at Mad River
My buddies take me to Kirkwood every time I visit the city and shit always gets reeeeal weird, I fucking love it