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The Oregon Zoo got a boatload of unexpected snow, so they closed for a snow day, and holy shit are the animals living it up.
Snow day! ❄️☃️#pdxsnow pic.twitter.com/y537BrgEqv
— Oregon Zoo (@OregonZoo) January 11, 2017
Check out Mr. Polar Bear rolling around in that fresh powder. He’s happier than you’ve ever been in your entire life. Look at his face. You can almost hear him thinking, “This fucking ruleeees my life is dooooope.” Can you think of anything that would bring you that much joy? You can’t. Pathetic. And you seen’t that elephant trotting along and cheesing his dick off? He just attained omnipresent supergalactic oneness. Be jealous as hell.
Tilly and B.C. seem to be otterly enjoying all this ❄️ pic.twitter.com/sKbbSxq1xs
— Oregon Zoo (@OregonZoo) January 12, 2017
Is there anything cuter than a little otter scooting along in the snow just living the dream? I’ll tell you. There isn’t.
An Oregon Zoo snowscape captured by @chris_sparrows#pdxsnow pic.twitter.com/jtDrJwjrWa
— Oregon Zoo (@OregonZoo) January 12, 2017
I might start smoking weed and become a zoologist..
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Ross Bolen
Ross Bolen is a New York Times Bestselling author, co-host of the Oysters, Clams & Cockles: Game of Thrones podcast, co-host of the Back Door Cover sports podcast, 2017 Masters attendee, bigger and more loyal Rockets, Astros and Texans fan than you, cheese enchilada aficionado, and nap god.
@WRBolen
@WRBolen
WRBolen
Bolen goin’ in on all the animal content lately…
You got a problem with that, other Bill?
Fuck you, Ross. Alright. I thought my day was going just fine and now I realize that I too am a caged animal forced to do meaningless tricks for money as I sit in my corporate sponsored jail cell, I mean office and look out the window wondering what life would be like if I just developed a severe drug problem and lived off the food in the dumpster without any responsibilities besides finding a place to shot everyday
You have a window in your office? Lucky.
No, I look through the inside Orwellian window in my boss’s office which is in line with the window viewing the outside world and I just stare through both windows so I’m basically double paned into a box of peasantry.
It’s safe to say that those animals are always having a better day than me. I wish that I could lay around naked, get fed, and have some dude in khaki shorts come pick up my poop from the bedroom floor.
Instead I am typing this while looking over my shoulder every 6 seconds making sure nobody sees me not doing work.
They’re caged physically, but free mentally. You’re caged mentally, but free physically.
Sounds like you already started the weed smoking portion of your quest to become a zoologist
I know 1 zoology grad. Can confirm he’s high 99% of the time.
Animals are the fucking best
Bolen: All animals, all the time.
Mel! Is that you?!
Animal columns have extreme upside.
Man I may need to switch coastlines here pretty soon. I love the mid-atlantic but I haven’t seen seals having that much fun since Little Creek got two feet of snow.
The hipsters here will crucify you for your frat boy douchebagery Bolen, I’d avoid Portland, unless you can grow a mean ironic mustache.
I’m a 29-year-old man.
Hipsters don’t matter