======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
The Wolf of Wall Street didn’t change my views of the finance world’s office culture – it reaffirmed what I originally thought working on Wall Street is like in its most absurd form. I know, I know, I’m not so dumb to believe that things like that actually happen, but I do believe that given a long enough leash, some firms would end up looking something like that before a surplus of lawsuits came crashing down on them.
Why do I think that, you ask? Well, for instance, this email we received late last night in our DMs.
And if you can’t read it because your shitty office bans Instagram, allow me to transcribe it for you:
[Redacted],
Please remember that the interns are here to learn about how a business is run. Contrary to your popular belief, they are all college students and not incompetent slaves.
As such, while we tolerate you and the other members of the management team sending them to get you coffee and food, please refrain from sending them to liquor stores.
Thank you for your attention.
Melissa
You know how Melissa was mad outside of the fact that she just completely talked down to [redacted] like he’s a child with no sense of right or wrong? She didn’t even say, “regards” or “thank you” at the end of her email. She just straight-up signed it “Melissa” and dropped the mic after banning the interns from getting liquor for their superiors.
Now, I’m not one to haze interns by any means. That’s just not my style. But is it really that outlandish for an intern to go to a liquor store to pick up some scotch and vodka for the people pushing papers in the corner offices? Doesn’t seem that outlandish to me. It’s not like they’re saying, “Hey, can you meet this guy on the corner of 5th and Bridge Street and pick up some coke for me?” Liquor is essentially just the coffee of the night, and if you don’t have time to go grab some yourself, you send an intern to do it for you. Doesn’t seem that complicated to me.
But hey, Melissa probably just doesn’t get invited to a lot of happy hours so she’s trying to ruin everyone’s fun. Like I said – every company has a Melissa. Don’t be a Melissa. .
[via Instagram]
Image via YouTube
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
defriewf
will@grandex.co
My first day as an intern, my boss gave me $100 and told me to pick up beer for the office happy hour on the rooftop. I was 19 at the time and had to use my fake. Innovate or die.
What intern complains about this. If this guy drinks enough to have you go buy more during the day you know he doesn’t keep close tabs on his receipts so throw a bottle in the basket for yourself and be happy or get out of the office for a bit.
Sending interns to the liquor store teaches them early on that the only way to get through most nights after graduation is with a bottle of jack. This should be almost a necessity in the corporate culture.
My last company stopped hiring interns cause the employees kept on trying to bang em and they got tired of the constant complaints from the interns.
It’s not like we forced them to drink.
Who is the Melissa of Grandex?
TheRecruitmentChair
Got laid off?
Duda
@PGHRProblems
Screw Melissa. Drink at work. It’s PGHRProblems approved.
Unpaid interns are basically slaves
except for the fact that they can quit…..
And just get another internship right off the bat?
She did say “Thank you” at the end of her email, Will, and it was for [redacted]’s attention.
Meh, doesn’t count.
Counts.
Thanking someone for reading an email is like apologizing by saying, “I’m sorry you were offended by something I said.”
I agree, but she did say “thank you.” Contrary to what you wrote, bruh!
good on spotting that….almost as if your all seeing huh?
No one likes HR. HR is that kid who reminds the teacher on a Friday before a 3 day weekend about assigning homework. HR is the speed trap set up in early morning traffic. HR is like that one friend of the group of girls who cock blocks you from talking to her friend by pulling her away and saying she has to go “dance”. HR is the ever encroaching specter that is the imminent Orwellian future full of thought crime and thought police. Whenever i read a memo having to deal with “risk management” all i see is HR’s deception in its phrasing. Its really fun a management in that they want none to occur. I’m tired of their damn catered lunches in the down stairs conference room while i’m stuck heating up frozen chicken and uncle bens rice goddamnit! What training is so damn important that our stingy AF company actually approves your receipts through AP and we only get lunches when we’re fucked up quarter or year end?
Calm down, man. It’s going to be okay.
sorry HR is my trigger
@ me next time.