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Well, Donald, you had a good run. Here I was thinking that this psychopath actually had a shot at winning a general election and then I see this. The anti-porn group “Enough Is Enough” released a statement yesterday announcing that Trump has signed a pledge that will, according to the group, “crack down” on internet porn. This anti-porn group is an organization that works to make the internet safer for children by getting rid of obscene pornography on the internet. Earlier this year, Trump signed something called “The Children’s Internet Safety Presidential Pledge.” At first I thought, okay, no big deal. If elected, this probably just means that he would rid the internet of all child pornography, which is something everyone can get behind.
I then learned that the pledge includes legal forms of pornography. “Enough Is Enough” accuses internet porn of “deforming the sexual development of young viewers.” So what this boils down to is what the pledge’s definition of obscene is. Because if obscene means the normal stuff that a mid-20s guy would watch on Wednesday night after work in the privacy of his own home than we are in trouble. Who would have thought that Trump doesn’t like porn? I always took him to be a big porn guy. Like into some weird foot and food porn or something. Let me just say this: if this is a really a ban on all porn, you are going to have a mass exodus from America on your hands. And if you want to sit there in your ivory tower and tell me that this isn’t a big deal for you because you don’t watch porn than I’m just going to assume you’re lying. Everyone watches porn. Guys, girls, moms, dads, dogs, and cats. Everyone watches porn.
Imagine a world where there is no porn. Masturbating like a goddamn pilgrim with magazines and smuggled pictures that you found on the deep web. I’m talking immigration in the millions to Canada and Europe. American’s love their porn. My favorite graphs are the ones that PornHub releases during Christmas and Valentines Day because tastes change as seasons change. The only time people aren’t watching porn is during the Super Bowl because you have to watch the game and the commercials. There isn’t any time to rub one out. In the press release, Enough Is Enough said that Democratic nominee Hillary Rodham Clinton declined to sign the pledge, as did independent nominee Harambe. I think you know where my vote is going..
If you’re interested in joining the Harambe movement, check out our t-shirts here and here.
[via Complex]
Image via a katz / Shutterstock.com
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jduda@grandex.co
Gonna start wiping the dust off my old Limewire account just in case
I think rubbing would be a more applicable verb here
I’m having a real personal struggle of how high or low this lands on the spectrum of offensive things that Donald Trump has said.
H A R A M B E
#dicksoutforharambe
was the “mass exodus on your hands” line a innuendo cause +1 on that JD.
Those nudes of his wife would indicate they don’t agree on this particular issue.
We’ve had just two candidates for too long now. It’s so boring, so vanilla. I think it’s time for America to have a three way. Let Gary Johnson into the debates.
*nothing
Well he slays and marries porn star quality vag on the reg like most other billionaires so easy for him to say.
This seems like something Michelle Bachman would do.
Bold move for a guy who keeps bikini pics of his ex wife on his desk.