======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
Two days ago I read Brian’s column on a recent poll that concluded 55% of recent college grads are “miserable.” It pissed me off. Like Stan in the third verse pissed off, or Bobby Brown wailing on Whitney pissed off. (Oh calm down, she’s dead now anyway.)
I should clarify: The article itself didn’t piss me off, nor did the theories or comments.
The 55% of you postgrads who are miserable pissed me off. The 55% of you who got a degree in something you don’t love, in an attempt to get hired for a job you don’t like, so you can work nine to fives in a cubicle that you despise all in the heart of the town you always dreamed you’d one day travel away from.
Why are you in this unfortunate situation? One of the commenters blamed it on the education system, another on greed. A few even blamed it on generational differences. (None blamed it on alcohol, however.)
I agree. Though I do think…no, I know it’s way simpler than that: more than half of you are miserable simply because more than half of you settled! C’mon ’90s babies, aren’t we supposed to be the bratty generation? Generation Y, Generation Me? The stubborn, entitled, narcissistic generation? And yet here most of us have settled for less than we originally wanted, opting for a degree in business though we love music, or applying to KPMG because “no one makes money teaching English.”
“I do.” –Rosetta Stone creator
Okay, “because no one makes money from teaching *chemistry.”
“We do!” –Walter White and Bill Nye the Science Guy. 
Stupid jokes aside, I get it. A lot of you have student loans to pay off. Two-thirds of you in the graduating class of ’11, to be exact. But what doesn’t add up is that many of you two-thirders would supposedly rather be fucking miserable while paying that debt off relatively quickly, than happy, or at least content, while taking a little longer to do so.
So you settled.
Not just with your career choice. You settled in other ways in your postgrad life, too. Raise your hand if you’re dating someone who you honestly can’t envision spending the rest of your life with. Good, I hope he or she saw that and are asking why you’re raising your hand right now and an awkward conversation ensues. Just don’t pull a Kramer.
Also, and not to be sexist (this is about to be sexist), raise your hand ladies if you’re with him solely because he was your first. Of course not, that’s ridiculous. Wasting your days having settled on someone who deep down you know isn’t “the one” is borderline more insane than most CrossFitters (been saving that analogy, Bolen). The point being that just as insane, is making a compromise when picking a career path that isn’t “the one,” and for some people could potentially induce self-destructive behaviors.
Has The Office taught you NOTHING?
I was recently watching Silver Linings Playbook for the fifth first time and Robert De Niro delivers one of the best monologues of his career in it. God forbid clips from a new movie be allowed to remain on YouTube, but here’s what he said:
Let me tell you, I know you don’t wanna listen to your father, I didn’t listen to mine but I’m telling you, you gotta pay attention to the signs. When life reaches out with a moment like this, it’s a sin if you don’t reach back. I’m telling you, it’s a sin if you don’t reach back, and it’ll haunt you for the rest of your days like a curse. You’re facing a big challenge in your life right now, at this very moment, right here…I’m telling you, don’t fuck this up.
[via [IMDB]
I’m just saying, if you settle now it’ll be tough discontinue that pattern later, and if you think you’re too busy to shake things up now but you’ll have time in the future, let me let you in on a little secret: you will likely be just as busy in the future as you are today. You have graduated college and life is reaching out to you. Like De Niro says, it’s a sin if you don’t reach back and it’ll haunt you the rest of your days like a curse—kinda like sports do to Seattle.
But what do I know? It’s not like I stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last night. Maybe I just watched the final rap battle in 8 Mile one too many times. (Did I mention I’m an Eminem fan?)
Well what I do know is that that other 45% of college grads are not miserable, and hell, maybe they’re actually happy with where their lives are going! Maybe they’re not in their corner office just yet, but they will be because they are engaged with—and love—what they, not anyone else, chose to do.
They didn’t settle.
So anyone finding themselves in that “miserable” 55%…
Respond
David Hoover
David Hoover (DHoov206) is a Seattle native who frequently pretends he is Macklemore's younger brother. He talks in the 3rd person because he's arrogant, and was once voluntarily questioned by the FBI in regards to something he tweeted. Gonzaga University alumnus of '13. (Well, he might be short a class but he's convinced no one actually checks for diplomas.)
@DHoov206
@DHoov206
Man, I appreciate that you’re still young and ideological and what not, but give it a few years. You’ll learn that if your job crushes your dreams, your dreams weren’t that strong to begin with. I know plenty of people who do the 8-5 grind and go home and play in jazz bands, paint pictures of sunsets and windmills, carve chainsaw bears, or any number of things. Personally, my decent job in a shitty city enables me to do a lot of things my non-relevant degree wouldn’t of allowed had I joined that field of work. Actually, I think what you post-grad freshman are going to have to embrace is actually working and paying your dues. Even if you’re pursuing your “dreams”, no one is going to offer you six figures for the abstract painting you spent days working on for many years of your life. Hell, most artist aren’t even valuable till after they’re dead. But, if you get a job doing something you hate, you can afford to do something you love when you go home. Sure, we bitch a lot about work and what not, but we did the same thing in college. College sucked, but it was also awesome at the same time. Get it? Additionally, complaining lowers stress, and often times, makes others laugh (if provided in a humorous manner like many of the PGP columns are). Its a win/win. So buck up, take that cubicle job, fill out that damn spread sheet, collect that pay check and go do something meaningful with it. I hate where I work, but not being broke and bumming off my folks is pretty damn awesome.
This column is going to get shit on, but I’ll stand with you. Not everyone gets to do what they love — that’s reality and it sucks — but the fact that 55% of people are classifying themselves as miserable is pretty sad. Miserable? You may need to settle, but who the fuck is settling on miserable?
Yeah I knew I was going to hit some (a lot) of nerves with this one. It’s like, you’re going to make claims that changing your life or becoming happy is beyond your control, then get mad at me for suggesting otherwise?
And I’m the unrealistic one…
It would be a lot easier to stomach this dumpster fire of a column if you actually knew what you were talking about or had some relevant type of life experience.
But you do not, so embrace it and hopefully improve your writing.
Dumpster fire? Nice, you must not be a writing major either. Hope you have a job or hobby that makes you happy, other than being a frat boy.
No I generally write better than composition or English major, which is what I think you were aiming for there. I’ve never heard of a writing major. Insults on an internet website generally don’t merit from much effort from me. It’s usually somewhere between scratching my balls and hitting “silence” on my phone when it rings.
I have work and hobbies that make me happy, but the last thing any actual adult wants to hear is drivel from this guy. His other columns have been bad too, but this one took the cake.
Well I appreciate the fact that you keep reading ’em, at least!
Haha exactly! Keep reading bro!
This was one Eminem reference away from me having to throw you in the trunk of my car and drive it off a bridge.
The only place all that romanticism and idealism gets you is a 99%er protest camp.
You should know that I’m very, very conservative when it comes to the government’s fiscal policies.
I believe all the people shitting on this column are liberal arts majors who are afraid to change out of the miserable rut that they’re in. Is it possible to make money with one of those degrees? Yes, ask Bacon. Is it easy? Absolutely not. Complacency (something exemplified in the business world by 99% of the content on this website) is not something that can be tolerated by those following their passion, especially when you leave the safety of the cubicle. You have to strive to innovate and better yourself to make money like that, and it sure as hell doesn’t come easily.
I went to a liberal arts school and am now working in finance and doing well. I’m not shitting on the column because I’m bitterly sitting in a cube hating my life. I’m shitting on this column because I get really tired of hearing people that majored in BS like English, art history, music, theater, history, what have you and then complain like no other when they can’t find a job that pays enough to adequately support themselves in a field related to their major and act surprised when that happens.
Preach. I work for a natural gas company and its a good job. I have a degree in History… I dig history, but it doesn’t pay the bills.
Those are definitely not “BS” majors. If you’re in the arts, hopefully you have a professor or adviser that can help you navigate the job/career path. No one likes a complainer, no matter what your job or major.
Dude—we’re on the same side! I’m attempting to get through to those people complaining about not being able to get paid enough for something they LOVE to do!
(AKA most likely what they decided to major in when they were young and “stupid”).
If, from that major, they have a steady, livable income and they’re enjoying the work they do to obtain said livable income, chances are they’ll be living a more fulfilling life than the 7-figure executive who’s 55 with no family.
This misses the point by quite a bit. Most of our generation are miserable because of a variety of falsities on which we were raised. The truths that lead previous generations to prosperity are inapplicable, or worse irrelevant, in today’s culture and economy.
The issue of student loan debt is one that older generations simply cannot wrap their heads around. I am a practicing lawyer who has a salary that is roughly 1/3 of my student loan debt. The partners in my firm graduated from law school with debt loads roughly equivalent to their salaries. A debt load equivalent to your salary is easily manageable. A debt load triple your salary is impossibly to manage.
Please think and have some real life experiences before you make broad, sweeping, insulting generalizations about a huge demographic of young people.
We graduated with more debt and less opportunity and boomers tell us we’re all a bunch of ingrates. I’m fucking irate.
Based on the comments, this is easily the most unanimously disliked column I’ve read on this site.
Congrats, lad.
I majored in a foreign language and got a job in the tech industry – I just went out and learned a skill set on my own that was in demand.
Also, it sounds like some of you guys should just have wealthy parents, so you don’t have to have student loans. What’s the matter with you?
Great pep talk! Great Ted Talks that touches upon the 20-30 age group. “Why 30 is not the new 20” http://www.ted.com/talks/meg_jay_why_30_is_not_the_new_20.html
Hey, some people need that cubicle/high paying job to simply pay off loans, create a secure financial future, or because that’s what they truly want to do, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. We cant all be artists and we certainly need accountants. Getting a job climbing the corporate ladder isn’t necessarily easy.
Others follow their “dream” (hello fellow arts majors) to paint, sculpt, write, make films, etc. and I’ll tell you from experience, that isn’t an easy road. At the end of the day, however, hopefully you are enjoying the work you do or you take the time after work to have a fulfilling hobby.
How sad that these young people identify as being miserable. Hey folks, it is most definitely not idealistic to want to be happy. Make educated decisions, know yourself, and don’t ever settle when it comes to your happiness.
This is fuck