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When Warren Buffett was asked by the New York Times to address the “unhealthiness” of one of his largest investments, Coca-Cola, the greatest soda company on Earth, Warren had a great response in Berkshire Hathaway’s annual meeting. “I elect to get my 2,600 or 2,700 calories a day from things that make me feel good when I eat them…I have not seen evidence that convinces me that it’ll be more likely I reach 100 if I suddenly switched to water and broccoli,” he asserted. A cop out? Perhaps, but he makes an excellent point. Eating healthy is miserable, which is why it is so hard to stick to a diet. Taking the breading off a chicken breast kills its appeal by 69%. I’m not suggesting you completely throw your health to the wind considering obesity isn’t the most attractive thing in the world, but it doesn’t hurt on occasion to fill your diet with delicious, orgasm-inducing foods. For me, and this is my recommendation, this is made up of the best food in the world: Southern food.
There is a bit of empirical evidence to support my claim before I even get into the delectable details: why do you think obesity rates in the South are through the roof? Because it’s near impossible not to enjoy gorging on fried anything. The South brought us Chick-Fil-A. That’s almost evidence enough.
You haven’t lived until you’ve had Southern comfort food. Fried chicken, fried green tomatoes, hushpuppies, Southern style pork barbecue with vinegar-based sauce, collard greens cooked with ham for flavor, sweet tea, cornbread, shoofly and pecan pie, peach cobbler, buttery biscuits and gravy, grits, fried okra, country ham, soft-shell crab, and black eyed peas. And don’t forget Louisiana Cajun/Creole food like gumbo, jambalaya, crawfish, fried po’ boys, andouille sausage, beignets, shrimp and grits, shrimp creole, pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, shrimp etouffee *Bubba Blue voice*. Talk about a food boner. There is no traditionally Southern food that isn’t delicious. I hate tomatoes but I’ll wolf down a plate of fried green tomatoes like a Rwandan refugee.
Fried chicken is the best known, obviously. Salty, greasy, tender meat, and pure deliciousness, and it’s sometimes glazed in honey if you are really set on getting type 2 diabetes. Hushpuppies are basically dough-fried dough, and you can feel your arteries clogging with every bite. Southern barbecue — specifically Carolina barbecue — is amazing. You need to attend at least one pig picking in your life, and the vinegar-based sauce gives it a little kick to emphasize the spice over the sweet. Sweet tea is not the same as iced tea with sweetener — it’s brewed hot with the sweetener or sugar to ensure an even distribution of sweetness throughout the drink. The only way to make buttery biscuits better is to smother them in gravy. Shoofly pie and peach cobbler are two different delicious tastes that cause two different kinds of sugar highs. With the proper roux, gumbo can be food coma-inducing reminiscent of your last sex coma. Good beignets are better than donuts. Finally, jambalaya always fills you up and puts a little spice in your life.
The South doesn’t really need to spice up its food with anything too fancy. When in doubt, fry it. Great rule to live by. It may easily eclipse Warren’s 2,600-to-2,700 daily calories, but I’ll trade a day in the gym for a pulled pork sandwich smothered in Carolina barbecue sauce topped off with peach cobbler for dessert. And maybe a bottle of Coca-Cola Classic..
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@5OClockShadow_
I once had a friend (from New England) tell me Chic fil A was just another chicken sandwich. I told her to shut her lying mouth.
Chick fil A is hands down the best fast food period. Place is clean and the food doesn’t make me want to pass out. I just had their chicken biscuit this morning, highly recommend. Won’t ever go to KFC, Popeyes or any other chicken place again.
I do love the food at Chick fil a, but the best part is the service. Somehow everyone there seems sincerely happy to serve you every single time. Such a nice change from other restaurants.
It’s because they have Sunday’s off unlike everyother fast food trough in business.
I was thinking that today. It’s strange, but all the kids there seem to actually be happy and will go out of there way to do so- at every location too.
We’re talking Chick fil A breakfast right now, Emma! Get your webcam smut talk out of here.
Popeyes is $$$
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Nothing insults me more than when someone tries to say that canned/bottled tea brands are just as good as homemade sweet tea. Pure and utter malarky.
Preach. Good sweet tea should also be slightly viscous from the ridiculous sugar content.
Grits: the most versatile food there is. Grits for breakfast, for lunch, for dinner. Grits as a side. Grits as part of the main course. They can do it all.
Can we have a Waffle House vs. IHOP showdown? Civil War Part II?
Waffle House ftw. I had IHOP a couple weeks ago and it was mediocre at best.
More bang for your buck at Waffle House. Plus it’s delicious. I wish we had them up here.
I cannot argue with your point in terms of the overall selection of food the southern US has to offer, as I have lived in that part of the country before and it’s unreal from the quality of food to the hospitality you get while eating it.
But having spent the majority of my early years New Jersey, I will be damned if there isn’t at least an honorable mention of the local pizzerias on every street corner all the way to New York that deliver the best homemade Italian food you will ever eat while simultaneously being late night Mafia meeting spaces.
A world without Waffle House is not a world I want to live in
Cmon Prex you’re a Chicagoan. You’ve spent you’re whole life without Waffle House.
And yes I fucked up your/you’re. I blame the scaries
Cajun and Bayou food is not southern food.
While I agree with you, I would argue that “geographical southern food” is the best food. That goes for food from the southern tip of Texas up the coast then around to the Carolinas. You get mexican, Tex-mex, Texas bbq, southern bbq, Cajun/Creole, and traditional southern and whatever else.
Eh… Too different to all bundle into the south.
“geographical” south not “South” south, basically if you’re in any geographically south location in the US you’re gonna be eating good
Florida is the geographical south (3rd state to secede too), but I wouldn’t lump Cuban dishes or seafood platters as Southern food.
Chicken fried chicken, grits, collared greens, mashed potatoes, etc. you know, traditional southern food.
As a yankee living in the South, I do enjoy good Carolina BBQ. We have one of the most respected family joints in the U.S. just down the road. Very good BBQ and it’s a plain ol’ hole in the wall; not a fan of fancy, pretentious restaurants. GF is from the home of Pepsi, which I prefer over Coke.
Finally, fast food restaurants are disgusting. Food worth eating isn’t made by a sweaty teenager in a cinder block building in the middle of a parking lot, especially not with horribly raised animals shipped in from a few states away.
Do yourself a favor and give up on fast food.
How is Bojangles’ not even mentioned once, esp with the fried chicken pic? I realize Chick Fil A is the household name and is veritably good (and one of the few reasonably priced ‘southern’ cuisines I can get in Chicago), but after being introduced to Bojangles’ last fall Chick Fil A doesn’t hold a candle to it IMO.
And I’m off for my second lunch now