======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
If this summer has shown me anything, it’s that I am far from being out of the throes of my quarter-life crisis. Sure, I might have worked through some stupid debt, made some advances in my career, and even dated some people I would have previously considered “not my type,” but I really don’t feel like I’m any closer to being a fully functional adult come this September than I did back in May. I could tell you that I didn’t spend all day Sunday in bed crying to How I Met Your Mother and being confused by the Affordable Care Act website, but I’d be lying.
But then the next day, I found myself too ambivalent to do anything other than re-watch half a season of Friday Night Lights and eat cold Pad Thai, and honestly…that was kind of the best. So there’s this balancing act with the quarter-life crisis. Some things suck more than you ever knew something could suck, some things are kind of awesome.
BUT. If asked “What Would You Rather” on some quintessential Quarter Life Crisis situations – what would you do?
Would You Rather:
Sleep On And Off All Day On Weekends?
or
Always Stay Up Until 4 But Still Be Mostly Functional The Next Day?
Would You Rather:
Never Have Your Metabolism Kick In?
or
Never Have Adult Acne?
Would You Rather:
Have A 5 Figure Amount In Your Savings Account?
or
Have Your Rent Paid For For One Year?
Would You Rather:
Be Forced To Sit Down And Be 100 percent Honest With A Financial Advisor?
or
Your Parents Who Know You Haven’t Been On A Real Date In Over A Year?
Would You Rather:
Find Yourself So Lazy You Forget To Eat?
or
Forget To Shower?
Would You Rather:
Never Buy Easy Mac Again?
or
Frozen Pizza?
Would You Rather:
Have To Listen To “What’s My Age Again” On Repeat For A Month?
or
“22”?
Would You Rather:
Only Have Access To Tinder?
or
Only Be Able To Use Pay-For-Them Sites, Like Match?
Would You Rather:
See A Call From Sallie Mae?
or
See A Call From A Former Roommate You Don’t Speak To Anymore?
Would You Rather:
Be Stood Up On A Date?
or
Show Up To A Tinder Date Where They Clearly Used Misleading Photos?
Would You Rather:
Not Have Your Own Netflix Account?
or
Still Be On Your Family Plan At 24?
Would You Rather:
Explain Why You And Your S/O Aren’t Getting Married?
or
Explain Why You Aren’t Having A Baby?
Would You Rather:
Have To Wonder If It’s Actually An Ingrown Hair?
or
Have To Ask “What’s Your Name Again?” The Next Morning?
Would You Rather:
Admittedly Cry To A B-List Netflix Series Or Show Once A Week?
or
Cry In The Bathroom At Work?
Would You Rather:
Be Able To Always Be Buzzed At Work?
or
Have Happy Hour Start At 3 Every Day? .
Image via Shutterstock
Respond
Kendra Syrdal
Once in college John Cusack asked Kendra to sing for him. She said no. Visit her website to ogle at her face and send hate mail // kendrasyrdal.com
@kendrasyrdal
@kendrasyrdal
ksyrdal
Would you rather:
Read one of Kendra’s article from start to finish?
or
Skip right to comments?
Nice work. I know there’s a button for that, but I wanted you to know that I pushed it.
I’m here
Skip to the comments.
What the fuck is this?
This is going to be an underrated comment.
I think you missed the mark on satire and hit full on depression
Never go full depression.
Kebdra’s articles are my favorite. Not for her writing because each article is trash, but for the comments.
That’s why she still writes for this site. Same goes for Steve Holt at TFM, who may or may not be real.
In high school, we used to play ” would you rather”. My question was always: would you rather drink a cup of period blood or swim in a pool of semen. The lunch monitor woman overheard it, was friends with my parents and told them. Long story short, 10 year high school reunion next year. PGP
via GIPHY
I don’t think I can ever look at you the same.
Sadly, I get that a lot. For once maybe someone will call me “sir” without adding “you’re making a scene”.
So which one would you choose?
To this day, I still can’t rationalize either. Sometimes, people would ask how much volume, who’s blood, size of cup, fully submerged, the questions go on. It’s truly a question for the ages. For the record, I chose the pool of semen.
via GIPHY
In this GIF we have an outdoor swimming pool in which a little larger child/teen runs off of the high dive and while falling, his legs continue the running motion until he belly flops into the pool 30+ feet below.
It took Kendra 6 days to come up with an article that’s not a list.
Eh, it’s still kind of a list.
Would You Rather:
Read yet another “woe is me, my life is so sad” Kendra article?
or
Make the intern pry your eyeballs from your skull with the dirty fork that’s been in the sink for two weeks?
Can you take your sadness somewhere else?
Grammar and correct capitalization, please.
Would rather do the shame walk from Game of Thrones than read this article.