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I received a lot of responses to my article, My Office Repeatedly Contacted Me During My Wedding Weekend Because Nothing Is Sacred. First, thanks to everyone who read, shared, liked, and commented. I have been wanting to tell that story for a while, and I was truly moved by the universality of the experience.
A question I was often asked after the article is posted is “Why didn’t you quit?!?”
For those of you who struggle with adult literacy or internet era-induced ADD that prevents you from reading beyond headlines…I did quit. I now own my own business.
When I was a kid, the karate studio I attended with my younger brother had a mantra, “A winner never quits and quitter never wins, I choose to be a winner. HI-YUH!” *snap kick* We’d repeat this at the start of every class.
Twenty years later, I am here to tell you that is bullshit. (Sorry, Sensei Brandon).
I’ve quit, lots of times. And I am fucking awesome at it. Practice makes perfect. I’ve had a lot of jobs in my adult life and have moved around a ton. I have never been fired or laid off. Each transition was a masterfully planned and executed quit that led to loads more money and better alignment with my goals. I like to call this “points on the board.” Have all these moves ever hurt me in an interview or getting a job? Hell no! (Though today I do kind of wish I made it past yellow belt…oh well). A big part of my business today is helping my clients with similar career transitions.
I know nothing sucks more than being at a job you hate for hours each week. Your unhappiness can seep into everything. As much as you are itching to pull one of these —
Please, try to tone it down. I know you’re suffering, but with a little patience, you will not only get the satisfaction of tap dancing sideways out of there soon, but also knowing your decision is golden and your next move is absolutely ace.
Some of the below may seem obvious, but I see a TON of young people who blow right through one of more of these and sorely regret it more than that fifth drink at a weekday happy hour.
Here is how you too can quit like a winner:
1. Practice Gratitude Daily
I don’t mean to go Tony Robbins new age-y on your straight away. However, the key through getting though any uncomfortable or less than ideal situation is (at least trying to) keep a positive mindset. Your current job may feel like this, but I can pretty much promise you at least one good thing happens each day — even if it’s tiny.
Each day, I want you to write down at least three things you are grateful for at your workplace. Automatic paycheck every two weeks? Health insurance? 401k matching? Easy commute? Hilarious coworker? Boss surprise everyone with a Happy Hour? It can be anything.
2. TIL (Today I learned…)
If you are familiar with Reddit, you may know all about TIL. Each day, even if we are not in our ideal environment, we still have ample opportunity to learn something new every day. Some of our most challenging times and difficult relationships are the best teachers on our paths.
As you go through this transition, I want you to write down at least one thing you learned from your current employment situation. Again, this can be anything — the meaning of a new acronym? A new shortcut in a software program? A public transit shortcut? Why you can’t make ramen in a coffee pot? It could be something in a casual conversation with a coworker or client too. Are they sharing something about their travel, culture, heritage, or hobbies?
3. Prune and Prepare Your Contacts
This is vital. Too many people do not do this. Begin to catalog, organize, and sort all of your business contacts. If you have stray cards laying around, get their information entered into a database. Scarily daunting task? This is something someone on TaskRabbit or a personal VA could easily help with for a small fee. Your network is everything. It can help you find your next position, source an important service, or become the next clients for your new venture. Treat your contacts like cash. Don’t leave business cards lying around; you wouldn’t regularly put $20 bills through the wash or dry cleaner — put them in the bank. Ask for cards when networking — you’re leaving cash on the table!
4. Network
Speaking of networking, it is a must-do. Shy? Introverted? HATE networking? Don’t “know how?” Not to worry, there are different ways to do this based on your temperament and preferences. You can go to in-person events, angle for one-on-one meetings, or contribute to online communities and newsletters in your field.
One way to quickly feel more at ease in a networking event is to volunteer to help run it. That way, you have other activities to busy yourself should you feel overwhelmed. If you’re running a check in table, you also have an easy tip-off point to start a conversation with anyone walking through the door. Shifting your mindset from attendee to host can do wonders for your confidence at a business event.
On another note, ladies — dress practically. You do not want to be sidelined because your heels ache. I am not suggesting you rock your grandma’s Easy Spirit kicks. Consider a wedge, flats, or my favorite the Nike Air line of Cole Haan heels.
Also, check your bag. You do not want to be awkwardly rummaging in the black hole that is your Longchamp to fish out a card that has gum with a penny and hair attached to it. Chic and streamlined. For my biggest events, I have a Diane Von Furstenberg pencil skirt I wear with two zipper pockets: cards in, cards out. I then ditch schlepping the purse around entirely. Another alternative is a small clutch with a wrist strap.
And for fuck’s sake, NO ONE get too drunk. Yes, people WILL notice and you will be THAT girl, guy, or person. Try cutting your white wine with spritzer (if you can order without embarrassment) and definitely alternate your drinks with water or nurse them.
Whichever activity you choose, pick an amount of time to dedicate to it and DO IT. Aim to attend networking events in your desired industry at least once every other week. (And remember what I said about cards in number 3!)
Nothing can replace face-to-face contact. However, also consider joining at least three LinkedIn Groups focused on your desired industry. Feel free to post clear, specific requests regarding further exploring opportunities in the field with fellow members.
5. Re-read Your Current Employment Contract/Agreement
Woohoo! You have your new dream job in hand and you are O-U-T. Before you drive away in a convertible into the sky a la the end of Grease, make sure you know what you might be leaving on the table (if anything). This is the MOST common mistake I see with the BIGGEST impact.
Did you get a relocation or signing bonus? Reimbursement for continuing education? Stock options? If you leave before a certain time frame you may have to pay all or part of it back. Would you be eligible for a big, fat bonus check or profit distribution just by staying for a few more months? Maybe it’s worth it to stick it out just a tad longer.
Also, look out for non-compete agreements if you are hoping to head to competitor or similar job at a firm you feel is a better fit. And ABSOLUTELY if you are striking out on your own in a similar field. The idea that these are almost always unenforceable is false. And either way, it is not a reason to ignore them. Get a solid understanding of your non-compete if you have one before courting jobs in similar industry. If you accept a competing employer’s offer, go to give your resignation and find out if your non-compete bars you from making the transition— that’s an undesirable situation. An employment attorney will usually take a look at your non-compete for free or a small fee. It can save you much heartache.
6. Get in Touch with What You REALLY Want
It is important to start with the mindset you are going to something not going from something. Think about your desired career in terms of what you do want and don’t limit yourself to past experience or the recommendations of others. You are not your resume of college major. You will be surprised at what is possible, even if you do not have what seems like direct experience.
The CEO of Marriott came from Mercedes-Benz without any hospitality experience. There are countless additional examples. Though these are extremely high-level positions, they demonstrate the idea that you are not bound to an industry. There are ways to transition.
For example, I had been feeling drawn to film for months. I had never worked in the entertainment industry before. Today, I have three independent film clients. I accomplished this in a few months. Your skills, abilities, and talents belong to you. Not your current industry or job. What you bring to the table is more transferrable than you think. Get out a piece of paper and go carte blanche and just write about what you want in your next career, try for five minutes uninterrupted at first. NO telling yourself “no.”
7. Prepare Your Résumé, Cover Letter, and LinkedIn Profile
Simple, but again often overlooked. And yes, today you still need BOTH a resume and LinkedIn profile. I have been pinged for so many job offers based off of my LinkedIn profile. I am sure many people on here have been as well. It is the way modern recruiters operate. See specific tips below:
∙ Update your resume to reflect current experience
∙ Proofread resume for spelling, grammar, and formatting
∙ Do the same for your cover letter
∙ If you do not have LinkedIn, get it. Many more employers will see your LinkedIn profile than your résumé.
∙ Update your LinkedIn profile with your current experience
∙ Fill out the headline
∙ Fill out the summary
∙ Ask for at least three recommendations
∙ FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HAVE A PROFESSIONAL PHOTO
∙ No selfies
∙ No fraternity or sorority formals
∙ No casual clothes
∙ No other people in your photo
∙ No photos of you engaged in your hobbies
∙ If you have a shot of yourself speaking at an event or on a panel (aka looking important) consider using it.
Again, I know how bad it can feel to be in job that is awful or has simply run its course. Frustrating, boring, and infuriating all come to mind. Hopefully, the seven steps above give you a place to funnel that energy for positive change.
Happy Quitting, You Winner!.
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CarolineGould
Caroline Gould is a personal branding expert and career consultant based in Washington, D.C. Her signature program is called Self Discovery School. She also writes a weekly advice column on Post Grad Problems. Submit your question or find out more on delphiknowthyself.com
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Caroline, the anti-Kendra. Fantastic article!
Is your last name pronounced “Gold” like the columns you’ve been putting out here lately?
Haha thanks, ShibblesNBits– it’s actually like “Gewld” though I wish it was Goldmember style “Gold” with 8 Os. I
I just turned in my two week notice last week, obviously something I’m excited about given my name, and I have to say #7 on your list is paramount to landing a job you really want and also helps you increase your network. Once I updated my LinkedIn profile I went from adding like one contact a week to getting calls from 3-5 companies/recruiters every week about opportunities and was able to whittle it down to the ones I really was interested in. Great advice, Caroline.
Employed and Depressed: Congratulations on your move and all your recent offers! I always say your resume is your front door and LinkedIn is your face. Lots more people see your face. With your front door, you have the people you invite (jobs you apply to) the people who regularly walk by (Indeed and other resume posting sites, recruiters with it on file), and friends who drop by all the time and know you well (friends, family, and colleagues who can recommend you)
There are only certain avenues to your resume where LinkedIn is pretty public. So please, make like Mr. Ed and show it some love.
You have a serious future here.
Hell, organize and update your contacts while you’re bored at work one day. You get to make the clack-clacky typing sound so people think you’re busy, and what boss doesn’t want an employee building a professional network. My boss gets angry if I go to a function and don’t come back with cards.
This. I love my job but you never know.
What do you do, sling taters in the mess hall? Can’t imagine prison pays that well either.
Love your columns. Just did this two weeks ago–started my new job in a new city this past Tuesday. Though I was told my an attorney that noncompetes *are* nearly impossible to enforce (especially in particular states) because they can’t stop you from making a living.
I had one I thought I’d waltz out of as I was entertaining an offer from a local competitor. Then I went to the attorney who told me there is “no way he’d want to be on the other side of this.” Yikes. You were smart to go to one too. If you have a NC I think it’s really important to have a lawyer from YOUR state look at YOUR non compete and advise.
We had an architect with one who came over to our firm without mentioning it. Threatening letter from his old employer within days. Had to move him off project he was hired to work on (annoying and I’m sure disappointing for him) to avoid suit. We sent him to another sector, but we really didn’t need help there– we needed it for what we hired him for.
He was laid off within a year.
Caroline – another fantastic article. You are just classy, intelligent, and real. (Yes, #girlcrush). Thank you for representing professional woman so well. You’d be a really cool friend to have. Best of luck on your latest endeavor!
Thank you! I’d love to be your friend! Send me a message through my website or Twitter? #notweirdright?
Perfect. I’m submitting my notice next week so this is great timing.
Quits stable job to go to fortune 100 company for 4x the pay. Laid off 3 weeks later, finds out fortune 100 company hired on a bunch of people to boost productivity and have an awesome looking Q4, then lay everyone off.
Hey Johnny- were into Q4 so I’m guessing this was a while ago? (unless they do different FY). I’m really sorry- ouch. Was there at least severance? How are you doing now?
planned on putting in my notice tomorrow, great timing and great article!
KoolAide and CornerOrifice-
Good for you guys! Virtual high-five. I actually wrote this fucker a while ago and since then I’ve remembered something I left out that may help you guys.
Watch out for the counter offer. It’s can be a giant cockmeat sandwich in sheep’s clothing.
I said in the second “Nothing is Sacred” article that it’s important to communicate frustrations to your current employer because they’ll likely roll with you some to spare the pain in the ass of replacing you. (True, they may also like you, and even more true if you’re pretty senior ). Same is true with quitting. Like a gf/BF you’ve had it with, they may vow to change and guilt you–while sweetening the pot in the process. More money, a move to another department, gifting you the Northern Exposure box set, promises to changes their errent ways–beware. Know how long it *really* takes for companies to make any significant change (if they ever do) and also, 25 year old me would punch me for this…but more cash isn’t always the answer and may not make it more bearable to stay there. You may end up sorely wishing you stood your ground.
Unless what they are offering you is a “Hell yes” and you really believe them, want it, and are willing to be patient– it’s a “Hell no” and you stay your fucking ground. Also, accept that counter and your firm may want something in return-contract, non compete, etc to make sure your disloyal ass doesn’t try to pull this shit again. Oh yeah, and they may be bitter toward you for a while for trying to leave.
I took one counter once, and released my in hand offer to a great job in NYC. More money, promises to change, and days off to commute for my part time MBA program were my bait. I took it, my feelings changed zero and I was gone baby gone (for good) two months later, feeling like I had “lost time.”
Curious about other people’s experience with counter offers, too. Anyone similar ? Or conversely , strike gold?
I’m heading into an event, sorry this is kind of rushed and probably full of typos – but I wanted to make sure you got this with some time to mull and before your grand announcement tomorrow. Good luck and let us know how goes!
Great advice, and also loved the “cockmeat sandwich” analogy – I don’t 100% hate-hate my job, and I actually made a list of demands that if they were met, I’d probably stay. The list is only semi-outrageous, and includes working remotely up to 3 days a week, taking time off from work to do grad school homework at my discretion, and beating the offer I’m ready to accept. The list is somewhat of a joke though, as my boss made her stance on “negotiating with terrorists” perfectly clear the last time someone left for greener pastures – good riddance, and don’t let the door hit ya in the ass on the way out.
As to counter offers, making more money (unless it’s a shit ton) feels good twice a month – the 1st and the 15th – and even that quickly goes away. Every other day at your job still fucking sucks.
Truer words have never been spoken – my employer offered to match, but I said no thanks – and was promptly shown the door. Two weeks of free paid vacation, here I come.