Every Friday, my alarm goes off and I immediately fight the urge to go back to bed. In college, that was standard operating procedure: go to the bar Thursday night with every intention of getting up for class, and then sleeping in until noon.

We don’t have that luxury anymore, but we do have one trick up our sleeve if we’re crafty enough: leaving early on Friday. To leave early on Friday takes finesse, communication, and balls (lady balls work too, girls). It’s not quite Peter Gibbons on the lookout for Bill Lumberg at 4:45, but the thrill of living dangerously by leaving the office early on a Friday always gets the adrenaline pumping. Let me first start by saying all of these excuses except #5 have worked for me. Open and transparent communication is key here.

1. Make it seem like you showed up really early. No one rolls into the office on-time on Fridays. So show up around 6:45ish and get to work. Dig some coffee cups out of the trash around the office and put them in your trash bin. When people start shuffling out for lunch, boom. Make your exit. “Hey, where’d Tim go?” “I don’t know, but he was here really early.”

2. Schedule (or say you scheduled) a doctor’s appointment. I always say that I have a 2pm appointment, which means that I’ll leave for lunch around 12:30 and then head straight to the doctor’s. Don’t do this more than once a month though; if you’re lucky, you procured an Adderall prescription in college which gives you an ironclad monthly excuse to take a half day off. I always just reference a bad back from my football days. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

3. Involve an imaginary, yet believable child. This is a morally grey area, because I know that some of our readers gasp at the thought of outright lying to get out of work (yikes!), but let’s assume for argument’s sake you’re using this excuse. BOOM! School gets out around 3pm, which means you are out the door briskly by 2:30pm. Whenever I use this one, I always say I’m picking up my fiancée’s kid from school. No judgment please.

4. Schedule maintenance on your car. You drive a car that was not made in this millennium, so you probably need an inspection or an oil change from time to time. Of course, your condescending middle manager – who most likely drives a 2002 Kia Sorrento – understands the need to keep up with the piece of crap that you’re driving. Simply explain that you finally found a really good mechanic and that the only time available was 2:30 in the afternoon, on a Friday. Wham, bam, thank you Mr. Bossman.

5. Make yourself vomit in plain view of a coworker. No one will ask questions and you’ll be home before lunch.