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- You know people who have done multiple stints in rehab.
- You have a school-specific drinking holiday and you go back for that instead of homecoming.
- It’s not “Have you ever been arrested?” It’s “What happened when you were arrested?”
- You laughed out loud when you found what the definition of “binge drinking” was.
- Half of your friends gained the freshman 15 and still haven’t lost it.
- You had a school-specific name for freshman weight gain.
- People think your very real stories are just made up or exaggerated.
- Your parents tried to send you to rehab after seeing how much you drank on your first summer vacation.
- You had “bar friends” who completely vanished from the face of the earth after you graduated.
- Your younger coworkers light up when you tell them where you went to college.
- Even the elderly alumni get hammered on game day.
- You thought the first cop that informed you that legally it is a dry campus was lying to you.
- You thought you went hard until you talked to that guy who had stories about what campus was like in the ’90s.
- Visiting friends from other schools barely made it to midnight when they visited you and you can still drink them under the table.
- You still have the guy who made your fake ID’s number in your cell phone contacts.
- You know someone who flunked out. Twice.
- Your fraternity’s pledges are still terrified of you and they’ve never even met you.
- A friend or coworker who went to your rival school refers to your alma mater as a daycare.
- You refer to your freshman year as your “$30,000 vacation.”
- You’ve “regretfully declined” going to a wedding because there wasn’t an open bar.
- You find yourself wondering what your coke guy is up to these days.
- You have horrified your coworkers with your behavior at happy hour.
- You have a list of “work approved” stories that you can go to whenever the topic of college comes up during the week.
- You still have TFM and Juicy Campus bookmarked on your toolbar.
- You and your friends still have that night that no one talks about when reminiscing.
- You can cite your Playboy party school ranking, but have no idea if whether or not you got a degree from an AAU certified university.
- You actually did know a great sand guy, and you sell him insurance now.
- You always assumed condoms were free and had no idea that you’d actually have to pay for them one day.
- You know multiple couples that had shotgun weddings.
- You get an email from one of your friends who wants to do spring break “one last time” every year until you’re 25.
- You still have your fake ID’s address memorized, but have trouble remembering your work address.
- The first couple who got married knew that the $500 deposit on the reception venue was a sunk cost.
- Half your clients are former drinking buddies.
- You have a moment of panic when a job interviewer gets to the “education” portion of your resumé.
- You still refer to every day of the week with its corresponding bar special. Dollar bottle Mondays, Two Dollar Tuesday, Wasted Wednesday, Thirsty Thursday, Sunday Funday, etc.
- You know the difference between normal police and riot police.
- You find yourself saying “God, I miss it…” on a daily basis.
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
@BrianMcGannon
@brianmcgannon
brianmcgannon
God I miss it.
#1 You’re underemployed.
#38 The first time you read #10 you thought it meant the younger coworkers were lighting a blunt.
There ain’t no place like Georgia Southern…. Good ole Statesboro!
This picture was taken before the ASU-Mizzou game a couple years ago. The blonde girl in the photo literally got down on her knees at the post game party, reached up the leg of my shorts, and grabbed my dick. Then she and her friend (in the photo) proceeded to pass out on top of each other on the couch.
Go Devils.
Pics or it didn’t happen. This is the internet.
Go Devils
One time I kissed a girl, it was wet.
One time, a girl told me to kiss her where it smelled. So I drove her to Albuquerque.
I should have done that. Instead I learned what “getting your red wings” means.
Indiana University! Represent.
Holy. Shit. This was the most accurate/true list I have ever read
#23 brings me back. I once got sent to HR because of my VEISHEA 2010 stories.
Can’t wait to go back for my first postgrad Veishea in April!
As an alum of a SEC school, this hits close to home on a lot of these points.
We all know that one guy from #13. Our Fraternity alumni would always preach to us how the mid 90’s at our school was the wild west of partying.
West Chester University of PA – Go Rams (#76)
http://universityprimetime.com/school/wvu/article/top-100-party-schools-of-2014