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When I was about 8 or 9 years old, I envisioned what my life would look like by the time I was 25. What I would have. Who I would know. The milestones I would hit and achievements I would attain. Stuff like that.
I’m now about to turn 24, and have hit the crushing disappointment and reality that none of these will likely happen in the next year, or they just flat out don’t even exist. My adolescent self assumed I’d be a multi-multi-millionaire (or billionaire) by this point, I guess. And that everything from the year 1998 would still be cool. Oh well. A kid can dream.
1. A castle house. 
2. A pool with a giant water slide.
3. And a grotto, too.
4. A Coke machine in my house that would be completely free.
5. These cars…
6. A yacht.
7. A water jetpack.
8. A real jetpack.
9. A pet monkey.
10. A real version of the mask from Lost In Space.
11. A kitchen pantry fully-stocked with Dunkaroos, Fruit By The Foot, Gushers, and Pringles.
12. A job as a charismatic, high-powered lawyer.
13. A personal friendship with Michael Jordan.
14. A girlfriend/fiancé/wife that resembled Jennifer Aniston .
15. A passion-project rap album produced with/by Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff.
16. A guest-starring spot on an episode of Friends. (I don’t know why I thought it’d last 20 seasons.)
17. Membership at Augusta.
18. A home theater system made of a wall of stacked TVs.
19. A virtual reality gaming system.
20. A private jet.
21. Pretty much everything from the movie Richie Rich…
22. …and from the movie Blank Check.
23. The admiration and jealousy of my peers.
24. The respect of my parents.
25. And finally, the time, money, ability, and contentment to just do…nothing.
Respond
Andrew Adams
Andrew is a native Texan and, while not complaining about something and talking too much, works as the Creative Director of Atomic Productions. While neither terribly great shape nor particularly handsome, he is known for being surprisingly charismatic and having a very respectable wardrobe.
@atomadams
I’m probably further away from #24 than almost all of the rest of these…. PGP?
Dunkaroos were the shit.
Were? Dunkaroos still are the shit. I had a pack last week.
the Prowler, hah.
At least I’m close on #11… Still have an empty fridge though…
26. My own living space with no parents.
Who the fuck dreams of having a Chrysler Prowler
It was the Plymouth Prowler. And it was awesome.
I wouldn’t wish that vehicle on my worst enemy.
Actually it was both but its fine. Still. My dad had one. And holy shit did that car suck.
It’s like the weekend vehicle for people that already own a pt cruiser.
The 90’s were weird
BLANK CHECK!!!!
if you wanna be bummed then look that kid up. It looks like he started doing drugs immediantly after the movie was released.
That movie is the fucking best…the epitome of the American dream.
#17 is still possible, right? Please…
0 for 25. Awesome.
I definitely have Pringles and Gushers in my pantry. Livin’ the dream.