25 Signs You’re Currently Unemployed

  1. You didn’t get up this morning until sometime between 10am and noon.
  2. You have the addresses and phone numbers of all your previous employers completely memorized from filling them out on so many applications.
  3. You’ve watched an entire season of Dexter in one day.
  4. You’ve started to realize why everyone told you that your degree in History would be useless in the real world.
  5. The worst part of your day is when you check the balance in your checking account.
  6. Moving home to “save money” is starting to seem like an attractive option.
  7. You spend more time on LinkedIn than you do on Facebook and Twitter combined.
  8. Friday is even more depressing than Monday now that there’s no paycheck to look forward to.
  9. You’ve started looking for jobs on Craigslist, with only a little bit of shame.
  10. A job interview makes you more nervous than a promising first date.
  11. You are considering graduate school just so that you have something to do with your time. You’ve even started studying for the GRE out of sheer boredom.
  12. You’re on Level 227 of Candy Crush Saga, and counting.
  13. You constantly refresh your email in the minutes after your recent phone interview.
  14. It would be completely okay with you if you never had to write another cover letter in your entire life.
  15. You’re starting to believe that you could live comfortably on a $28,000/year salary since its $28,000 more than you’re making now.
  16. You’ve been known to outright lie fib about your qualifications in order to obtain an interview.
  17. You’ve started carrying copies of your resume everywhere you go, just in case you happen to run into someone who is looking to hire.
  18. Job fairs are your own personal form of hell.
  19. You’ve started calling your mom every day, just so that you have some form of human interaction.
  20. You’re thinking about taking a job as a waitress so that you can make ends meet.
  21. Even unpaid internships with “potential for a full-time career” are starting to sound like a good idea.
  22. There is nothing you despise more than online applications where you have to fill in the information that is already on your resume. Like seriously, that is what a resume does, right?
  23. You’ve considered sending a video resume to a potential employer, but all your friends are too busy with work to help you film it.
  24. Your friends no longer ask you to go out because they know you can’t afford it.
  25. You’ve started writing for PGP in your abundant spare time because you have nothing better to do with your life.
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Comments (11)

  1. You’re making me feel guilty for not wanting to be at work right now. Stop it.

    70 days ago | Log in or sign up to reply.

  2. #4 really hit home for me. They’re always looking for people in the hospitality industry…ever consider becoming an event manager? Based on my experience dealing with them all you need is a beating heart.

    70 days ago | Log in or sign up to reply.

    • Truth. I started college as a hospitality major until I realized I had more skills than just a beating heart.

      70 days ago | Log in or sign up to reply.

  3. In my opinion, the most indicative sign of unemployment is not having a job.

    70 days ago | Log in or sign up to reply.

    • You’re so smart.. I don’t know what PGP would do without insightful commenters like yourself

      70 days ago | Log in or sign up to reply.

  4. Half of this list really hit home fortunately I did land a job within 3 months of graduation, but those were 3 months of the hell mentioned above.

    70 days ago | Log in or sign up to reply.

  5. Yo Postgradpres, does working for Grandex make you, like, lumpenproletariat or something?

    70 days ago | Log in or sign up to reply.