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- They will still never be able to top classic Snake on a Nokia phone.
- iTunes radio is nothing but a Pandora clone…and Spotify is still significantly better.
- The main thing you’re going to notice is slightly prettier icons.
- Siri still won’t tell you where to find an abortion clinic.
- People with Android phones will still argue with you.
- You can see all of your photos at once, which will only remind you why you should never become a photographer.
- The AirDrop sharing feature will only save you about 4 seconds compared to an actual text message or email.
- The biggest feature is nothing more than “It looks nicer.”
- There still isn’t a built in “Stop Me From Texting My Ex” feature.
- It will take you about an hour to download, and the anxiety of going that long without checking your Twitter feed might kill you.
- Some of your apps might not work with the update.
- Updated or not, everyone will still make fun of you when you use Siri.
- Your drunken panorama attempts will still leave headless demon spawn in the frame.
- Did anything really need to be fixed?
- Safari will still be worthless compared to Google Chrome.
- Your battery will still die at the most inopportune times.
- The Terms & Conditions force you to sacrifice your first-born to Steve Job’s ghost.
- People still won’t give a shit when you upload your bi-weekly jog to Facebook.
- Siri will still have the comprehension of a 70-year-old deaf woman.
- The built in filter feature makes it even easier for unattractive girls to fool you.
- Group texts will still annoy the fuck out of you.
- Why update your phone now when you’re getting a new one in two days?
- Instead of everything being black or grey, now it’s white. INNOVATION!!!!!1
- By downloading it you associate with the Apple fanboys who get sexual pleasure out of this kind of stuff.
- It doesn’t improve uploading food pics to Instagram in any way shape or form.
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Joe Nullet
Joe is the VP of Branding & Marketing for Grandex Inc and co-host of the Dudes Doing Business Podcast. He prides himself on his abundance of LinkedIn Powerpoint Endorsements.
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The only reason I switched to the iPhone was so I could defend myself against the merciless slander in group chats.
26. SFPL/Joe can still write shitty lists from his iPhone.
Listen Andriod lovers. You want to know why so many people have iphones? because everyone has an iphone, and if this chick wants to facetime me and show me her tits or all my buddies wanna live-text breaking bad in a group text, i can do that! I don’t really give a shit about other features, other than the ones that make my shit compatible with other peoples’ shit.
Yesss. FaceTime is golden. I don’t even like getting text messages either. iMessage is king, green bubbles are for peasants.
someone just hate-downvoted this 9 times
Call me a hater, but I’m pretty sure Android holds almost twice the market share of iPhone.
Secondly, GroupMe and Skype.
There are also like a 100 different phones that run on a “Android” operating system where as there are <10 phones running iOS.
Yeah… You do realize Android has group chat right? Just throwing that out there.
My screen is so fucked up I am not going to be able to notice all the pretty shit the update comes with…….. I’m still getting it.
I had an Android for a couple years and now I have an iPhone. I don’t know how I lived without an iPhone.
The internet’s response to iOS7. Guy from 4Chan punked the iPhone buying idiot masses: http://www.businessinsider.com/fake-ios-7-ad-promising-a-waterproof-device-destroys-phones-2013-9
Cute, really funny. However as an industry expert and Apple developer, I’d like to refute #4, Siri most definitely helps with that. I’d like to confirm #1, 5, 6, 7, 9, 12, 13, 16, 17, 18, 20, 21, 22. I’d argue with #8, the biggest features which are real draws, are: 1) App switching and closing MUCH improved, 2) Control Center access to quick apps and settings, 3) Background app updates, 4) Better battery use if you turn off some new features (see upcoming blog post on TechGeekJay later this week), 5) Block callers and text spammers! Really, you think that’s not a HUGE bonus?
Dispute: 11 (I’ve been testing for 4 months, never had an issue). As for the rest, can’t speak to them. I don’t use Instagram, who the heck needs yet another networking thing?
People with androids are like the mormons knocking at your door trying to convert you.. its not gonna happen.
The general iPhone owning populace will really never tap into the actual power their device has. They have it because it’s a trend item. Android owners range from real techies to really cheap people. There’s shit on both ends of the spectrum, but Android being open source offers a whole lot more range of possibility for tech geeks, DIYers, and the creative types. iPhones are simple, and they’ve become trendy because the general populace is simple. Simple things for simple people.
Lastly:
FB Messenger > GroupChat
Google Hangout > Facetime
Android is still better.