“Why don’t I get back to you on this after the new year?”
Explain to anyone who asks you a question that your boss is out of the office and you don’t know when they’re coming back, if at all.
Cancel every single meeting under the assumption that no one is coming into the office.
Send a company wide email titled “Hot Black Friday deals I found”
Start Black Wednesday a little early by cutting your coffee with a little Bailey’s.
“Hey Mark, how big you going on Black Friday? 60 inches? 72? Projector? Might be the year I go projector.”
Launch into a profane tirade against anyone who attempts to schedule meetings, no matter the importance.
Tell all the interns that the office is in fact open on Friday and they’re expected to be here at 8 am.
Start liking month-old Facebook posts on all of your exes’ profiles.
Also tell the interns that Terry from corporate HQ will be here for year end intern reviews all week. There is no Terry from corporate HQ.
“Every day is Cyber Monday for me, if you know what I’m saying.”
Burning PTO is for suckers. Leave at 2 every day.
Stock the fridge with eggnog and various seasonal drinks. Don’t tell anyone that there’s alcohol in them.
Eat a full turkey dinner for lunch every day of the week.
“The turkey isn’t the only thing getting stuffed this week. No, sir. I’m talking about my high school girlfriend, Andrea. Talkin’ about sex, guys.”
Request that anyone already playing Christmas music keep it to Trans-Siberian Orchestra and Mannheim Steamroller.
There’s nothing stopping you from parking in the CEO’s spot. He’s been in Vermont since Thursday.
Schedule “meetings” out of the office all day on Wednesday.
Ask the hottest girl in the office what bar she’s going to on Wild Turkey Wednesday.
Have the Black Wednesday party bus pick you up from the office. .
Image via Netflix