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- Tip the IT guy.
- Audibly sing the lyrics to DMX’s “Party Up” at your desk.
- Put your golf clubs in your shared cubicle.
- Offer something to drink to anyone who comes to your desk.
- Stay late after everyone leaves and have a nice dinner made up of random fridge food. Don’t leave a note.
- Press the elevator button to your floor even though it’s already lit.
- Set a picture of a lion as your desktop background.
- Hit up coworkers on Gchat solely for the purpose to tell them you forgot what you were going to ask.
- Show up late and tell your boss you were “meeting with a client” even though your job does not require you to have clients.
- Play “Rock ‘n Roll Part 2” every time you close a deal.
- Tell an intern they’re “a straight-shooter with middle management written all over them” despite not having any input on whether or not they get hired.
- Roll up your sleeves before noon.
- Put a picture of a hot girl on your desk. Don’t explain to anyone who she is.
- Challenge an older coworker to a pushup contest.
- Hoard Sharpies.
- Keep a bottle of high-end liquor in your desk. For emergencies and late nights.
- Roll your eyes and check your watch during the sexual harassment seminar.
- Take your shoes off at your desk and don’t tell people where the smell is coming from.
- Order a dinner entree while out at lunch.
- Hire a personal barber to cut your hair and give you a straight razor shave in your cubicle.
*Editors note: Some, if not all of these, will probably get you fired.
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
@BrianMcGannon
@brianmcgannon
brianmcgannon
Selecting yes to the ‘Cash Back?’ prompt when using your company purchasing card.
I’d like to add, “pushing ‘close door’ every time the elevator door opens.”
Yup…. Lion background
I’m having trouble with getting #7 to work for me. Help!!!
Picture of random hot girl on my desk. Second cousin.
Rfm
i call bullsh%t, there’s no way you can put a rando hottie on your desk and not have every girl and creepy old school, ask you who she is….no way
One of my most immediate life goals is learning to do whatever the hell Leo is doing there.
Is there a how-to video on that thing? It’s a modern work of art.
21. Hipthrusting red pants mustachioed dude gets me every time.
Golf clubs in my cruiser, got it.
My background is definitely now a lion.
Seriously middle management? This site is depressing me, but have to say we find this amusing.