======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
Smile wryly when someone asks what 80s movie villain you are since you just dress like that everyday.
“Hey Karen, maybe a little less cumin in your chili next time.”
Eat all of the Reese’s pumpkins before anyone else gets the chance.
Tell Tim in engineering the only thing scary about his costume is how prominently his belly button can be seen.
“I have this dope ass Monster Mash/Thriller/2 Chainz mashup for the party playlist.”
Chop up lines of Fun Dip on a mirror.
If your costume doesn’t at least raise an eyebrow or two in HR, then what was the point?
Lodge a formal complaint with HR when no one brings buffalo chicken dip to the potluck luncheon.
Turn off the lights in your office, play some spooky sounds video on YouTube and take a nap with your headphones on.
Put the Texas Chainsaw Massacre on full volume on the conference room TV.
Tell the interns a story about how you almost went on a ghost hunt with Zak Bagans.
Turn the lights off in the bathroom, say “corporate liability lawsuit” three times, and hope for the best.
Brag about being the “full candy bar” house on your block.
Suggest a friendly game of “light as a feather, stiff as a board.”
Bust out the ouija board and start trying to summon the ghost of Henry Ford as a leadership exercise.
Regale the interns with stories about the Sigma house’s 2011 costume party.
Take the junior sales rep on a ghost hunt through the building.
Suggest you wrap things up early and head down to the costume contest at Hooters.
Ask if eggnog is in fact seasonal this time of year.
Relentlessly mock your coworker’s half-assed attempt at a Pennywise costume.
In fact, relentlessly mock any adult who thought it was a good idea to wear a costume into work. .
Note: Doing any of these will likely get you fired and/or permanently banned from your local Hooters.
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
@BrianMcGannon
@brianmcgannon
brianmcgannon
Not having a Halloween office party. PGP. (or PGPM?)
Same here. My old job just had candy in the break room and we had to work BOTH Christmas and New Year’s Eve.
I did not like that job.
When walking by the CVS candy aisle, it took me longer than it should’ve to convince myself that no, I should not buy a bag of Reese’s pumpkins for myself.
Need a SWOT analysis for dressing up next Tuesday.
That’s 1000% getting written. Thanks, man.
2011 Halloween party was indeed a banger
Leave Tim alone
Ordered my rain coat so you know what’s good
Bring in an altar to make a sacrifice to J-Bone, the God of the Bonezone