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Because a real outlaw with their sights set on middle-management shouldn’t settle for just 21 power moves.
- Call one of your friends each afternoon and pretend to negotiate a high stakes business deal for hours on end.
- Always end the final sentence of a phone call with their first name.
Take the WSJ to the bathroom stall every morning.
- Try to show a coworker something on a firewalled website and then say, “Well, it worked on my computer.”
Take a client to a strip club.
- Don’t respond to coworkers’ friend requests for at least two weeks. 90 days for LinkedIn requests.
Keep a humidor full of Cohibas in your desk drawer.
- Change your LinkedIn profile picture once a month.
- When somebody asks you what your plans are for the weekend, just chuckle, say “We’ll see,” and walk away.
- BCC random coworkers on emails to your superior.
- Bring in donuts on someone’s birthday and eat them at your desk instead of sharing them.
Book first-class on your first business trip.
Date two coworkers at the same time. Orchestrate an elaborate web of lies until it falls apart and HR has to intervene.
- Wrap up a phone call by saying, “Hey, gotta go. T. Boone Pickens just walked in.”
Tell your team you’re applying to Harvard Business School.
Park in visitor parking every day.
- Say, “This is the kind of stuff they don’t teach you in business school,” even though you graduated with a communications degree.
For each new policy communicated in a meeting, ask how it will affect your bonus.
Audibly entertain headhunters on your cubicle phone.
Take over meetings with your own agenda.
Max out your company credit card within a week of receiving it.
Editor’s note: Again, some, if not all of these, will get you fired.