- You wish you were back in college.
- You’re unable to score, but tell all your buds that you didn’t want to, anyway.
- You have no idea where you’ll call home next year.
- Your teacher probably has a foot fetish.
- The only thing you’re drinking before bed these days is a glass of milk.
- You spend your entire time in the back taking notes.
- You plan on coasting to success just on your intangibles.
- You spend your nights reading out of an increasingly irrelevant book .
- Anytime you break the room’s monotony and speak up, people hate you.
- At the end of the day, you just want to take a knee and bury your head in your fist.
- Worst comes to worst, you bet you could probably get a job on TV.
- High school prodigy. College legend. Post grad bust.
- After looking at the job market, spending a year doing missionary work isn’t looking so bad.
- Denver’s not terrible. Florida could be worse. Anywhere but fucking New York.
- I mean, Canada can’t be that cold, right?
- SOMEONE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HIRE ME.
- Your mailed-in GPA flutters like a wounded duck pass.
- As soon as you get settled in your new job, your boss is already searching for your younger, cheaper, more talented replacement.
- None of your thin budget is going toward birth control.
- Despite all the hours of studying and hard work, deep down you know that you flat-out suck.
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