20 Ways Being a Grad Student is Like Being Tim Tebow

You wish you were back in college.
You’re unable to score, but tell all your buds that you didn’t want to, anyway.
You have no idea where you’ll call home next year.
Your teacher probably has a foot fetish.
The only thing you’re drinking before bed these days is a glass of milk.
You spend your entire time in the back taking notes.
You plan on coasting to success just on your intangibles.
You spend your nights reading out of an increasingly irrelevant book .
Anytime you break the room’s monotony and speak up, people hate you.
At the end of the day, you just want to take a knee and bury your head in your fist.
Worst comes to worst, you bet you could probably get a job on TV.
High school prodigy. College legend. Post grad bust.
After looking at the job market, spending a year doing missionary work isn’t looking so bad.
Denver’s not terrible. Florida could be worse. Anywhere but fucking New York.
I mean, Canada can’t be that cold, right?
SOMEONE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HIRE ME.
Your mailed-in GPA flutters like a wounded duck pass.
As soon as you get settled in your new job, your boss is already searching for your younger, cheaper, more talented replacement.
None of your thin budget is going toward birth control.
Despite all the hours of studying and hard work, deep down you know that you flat-out suck.

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