Since the moment I graduated, I’ve been forced to answer questions about my future. At least that’s what it seems like. These questions come from our parents, our grandparents, and friends of our parents. They come from our former high school teachers, our dentists, and sometimes even from random people on the street. The worst part is that I don’t know the answer to these questions, so please, for the love of God, stop asking me. I’m tired of thinking up some bullshit answer to please you.

1. Where do you see yourself in five years?
2. Have you met someone special yet?
3. When do you think you’ll get married?
4. Have you thought about when you want kids?
5. How do you like your job?
6. Do you ever think about going back to school?
7. How well do you get along with your roommate?
8. Have you tried online dating?
9. Do you miss college as much as you thought you would?
10. What do you really want to do with your life?
11. Do you have a retirement plan?
12. How much do you pay in rent?
13. When are you going to buy your own place?
14. Weren’t your parents married and pregnant with you by the time they were your age?
15. How much debt do you have?
16. Are you really going to be able to pay off your loans on that salary?
17. Have you thought about moving back home with your parents for a while to save money?
18. Do you even have a savings account?
19. Why don’t you talk to any of your friends from college anymore?
20. Do you at least have a lot of sex?