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The Fourth of July means fun, fireworks, booze, barbecues, and usually, lots of food. Unless you are a complete asshole, this means you need to bring something to the parties you’ve been invited to, because our mothers taught us we can never EVER show up empty handed.
Remember, you’re supposed to be an adult now, so store-bought crap isn’t going to cut it. But neither is slaving away in the kitchen for hours. Unless you can convince your mama do to your cooking for you, we have some easy options for you that are tried and true for us. And always remember to bring your own booze.
Guacamole And Salsa
Chips and salsa are a party staple, but how about taking it a step further by making your own salsa and then upping the game by making your own guacamole, too? There’s something sort of hot about someone who can make his or her own guacamole. Plus, everyone should just know how to make killer guac.
Kielbasa
This is one that we never eat anywhere but at a barbecue–but when we have it, we love it. You need a crockpot for this one. If you don’t have one, we’re sure your grandma does.
Pasta Salad
If you can boil water, you can make pasta salad. If you can’t boil water, you’ve got bigger problems than what to bring to a barbecue, my friend.
Chocolate Covered Strawberries
A fancy dessert that’s actually super easy to make, you can instantly class up any event when you have these on hand. If you want to be super festive, go with white chocolate and then dip the strawberries in blue sugar crystals for a red, white, and blue theme, because nothing says “America” like taking something that’s ordinarily healthy and making it give you diabetes.
Grilled Pineapple Or Watermelon
You literally just need to cut it up and put it on the grill. That’s it.
Red, White, And Blue Skewers
Cooking ain’t your thing? Okay, we get that. Luckily, we’re pretty sure most anyone is capable of cutting up blueberries, strawberries, and bananas (or marshmallows, if you prefer), sticking them on a skewer, and arranging them in a flag shape–you can use the American flag tank you are wearing to the party for reference.
This is another no-cook option with some assembly required. Grab your toothpicks, the ingredients, and put one of everything together. “But it’s ITALIAN,” you might say. It has cheese in it. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
Red, White, And Blue Kettle Corn
Okay, so maybe cooking and assembling aren’t your thing. But you can make popcorn, right? RIGHT? Throw some food coloring on it and call it a day.
Sangria
Nothing makes a party better than good sangria. We prefer red, but there are plenty of white or pink options out there, too.
Red, White, And Blue Shots
One of us was a bartender in a former life who used to spend hours making (and drinking) these on the Fourth of July, so we know firsthand that they are delicious and will get your buzz off to a good start.
And a quick tip for the 4th: don’t say firecrackers. It’s offensive. We prefer the term “fire caucasian-americans”
How has this not been rated up more? Come on people! This was gold!
I find it funny the first item on the list is a Mexican appetizer for a 4th of July party. Nothing against it, just gave me a giggle.
We’re all immigrants.
Way too much work. Get a keg, grill some dogs, sit around and enjoy your freedom. America.
Actually I think I’m fine with just fireworks and beer.
Just trying to broaden your horizons.
Roman candle fights. Don’t forget goggles.
Burbon?
What is this “burbon” you speak of?
Condoms and Plan B?
Also good choices, but we wouldn’t suggest either be homemade.