This is very true. I also like to go to cities based on places to take good photos. For example, New Orleans is the only place where you can walk through a drive-thru daquerie (I not know how to spell it and I’m not gonna google it) place during the day, get shit housed and then go to the 9th ward to take eerie photos and possibly get murdered in an abandoned elementary school with Masonic voodoo hieroglyphics spray painted on the wall.
To the guy with the crazy girl problem: don’t worry, she seems weak and due to the fact that chem trails are abundant in our skies, they will take care of her. It might just take a little while but don’t worry, they’re only going to kill off the weak. Based on medical research that doesn’t exist yet, these chem trails are decreasing the population to further prevent a global environmental catastrophe and also prevent crazy people from reproducing and spawning more crazy people. This is how terrorism is created (it has absolutely nothing to do with mental illness) and the only way to fight terrorism is to me more terroristic, obviously.
Guys, the beef industry causes a large percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which are responsible for that thing that our orange president backed out of and apparently people are pissed off about it and stuff. That being said, I will continue to be a lifetime Shake Shack apathetic consumer because their burgers are fucking delicious and magical and the human race is a cancer that is protruding out of a large mass we call a planet. Have you guys ever put hot sauce on a Shake Shack burger? It’s life changing and with these ever rising sea levels, you can gulp down some of that extra water to cool your mouth off!….owwww caliente takes!!!
I’m a Tito’s guy myself but I did photo work for Absolut’s OAK vodka that’s aged in oak barrels and it literally tastes like wood that’s burnt in some hobo campfire under an old rusty bridge with trash and heroin needles strewn everywhere
Currently stuck in traffic just hating my life. The guy in the car next to me is talking in the phone while stuffing his massive face with a bagel that has an impressive amount of cream cheese on it. He’s like laughing while chewing and being on the phone. I wish the person he was talking to would just hang up at this point. I have seriously weighed out the pros and cons of ever so slightly drifting into his car and guiding him and possibly myself off this overpass. So far, the pros are vast. If I take myself out, I will have my assistant follow up on here
We should make smoking at the gas pump a thing again. Throw in some risk variations throughout your life now and then plus if you fuck over a major oil Barron, is anyone really gonna give a shit?
Relationships aren’t real anymore. In order for them to be real you have to hit over 250 IG likes on a photo of you and your SO doing basic person bullshit within the algorithm’s attribution window rate (roughly 4 hours at best) everything else is fake just like reality and this plants you get at department stores, and the news, and the value of our currency, and the fruit you see on display at outdated furniture stores, and girl’s nails/hair who live in low income areas of cities, and white people in general lol
Got to see Tool live this weekend and went to the front rail, shit was incredible. Gonna grab a nitro brew, stare at the colored screen for awhile, then grab a nice lunch and possibly not go back
Everyone, just do the future generation a huge favor and opt out of reproducing. It will solve the genetic hair loss problem altogether as well as numerous other problems. Then you can go enjoy a life of travel and maybe possibly even retire if the world doesn’t kill itself before we reach 65! Yay
Duda, keep doing you. Who cares if people get offended. Life is fucking offensive. I’m surprised I haven’t been confronted for the shit I say but I also think it’s because deep down in their boring, fragile little souls, they know that what I’m saying shatters their protected little bubble of a world and exposes the harsh truth in the purest form masked by comedy and sarcasm and they don’t have the knowledge arsenal to combat it. If you want to get offended and then express it, go check out Syria or Yemen for 2 minutes and then let’s see how offended you you really get.
“Like, omg this guy is so fucking offensive. Can you believe he actually made a joke about abortion? Like what an asshole”
Oh, I’m sorry that you paid money to come to my show and didn’t do your research beforehand and also didn’t realize that there would be jokes and sarcasm here
Guys, we all know that a relationship is the flagship advertisement to the world that you have given up on life. It’s easier to let yourself go and come home and IG your sausage into the same socket than it is to be on point all the time. The most innovative people never had relationships, yeah they were crazy but still. Ex. Nicola Tesla. When you procreate with your SO, you can’t go do all the cool shit you wanted to do when you were single like go to Australia or some shit but if you get herpes from sleeping around, you can still go to Australia hahahahahaha
Currently sipping on that nitro nectar as I sit alone at a table of 4 seats in a swanky hotel bar, waiting for my breakfast. No one around me is speaking English and it’s soothing or it could be the obscure atmospheric music softly being played from the ceiling. Idk where this is going but basically coffee tastes good black. Oh, and it’s raining outside with a light breeze coming from the southeast. Okay, I think I just covered all office talking points for a given day lol
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This is very true. I also like to go to cities based on places to take good photos. For example, New Orleans is the only place where you can walk through a drive-thru daquerie (I not know how to spell it and I’m not gonna google it) place during the day, get shit housed and then go to the 9th ward to take eerie photos and possibly get murdered in an abandoned elementary school with Masonic voodoo hieroglyphics spray painted on the wall.
To the guy with the crazy girl problem: don’t worry, she seems weak and due to the fact that chem trails are abundant in our skies, they will take care of her. It might just take a little while but don’t worry, they’re only going to kill off the weak. Based on medical research that doesn’t exist yet, these chem trails are decreasing the population to further prevent a global environmental catastrophe and also prevent crazy people from reproducing and spawning more crazy people. This is how terrorism is created (it has absolutely nothing to do with mental illness) and the only way to fight terrorism is to me more terroristic, obviously.
I love how you come off as so chill and diplomatic/polite and shit..right on, man
Guys, the beef industry causes a large percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which are responsible for that thing that our orange president backed out of and apparently people are pissed off about it and stuff. That being said, I will continue to be a lifetime Shake Shack apathetic consumer because their burgers are fucking delicious and magical and the human race is a cancer that is protruding out of a large mass we call a planet. Have you guys ever put hot sauce on a Shake Shack burger? It’s life changing and with these ever rising sea levels, you can gulp down some of that extra water to cool your mouth off!….owwww caliente takes!!!
Yes, it’s now officially recognized as a ham cottage
I’m a Tito’s guy myself but I did photo work for Absolut’s OAK vodka that’s aged in oak barrels and it literally tastes like wood that’s burnt in some hobo campfire under an old rusty bridge with trash and heroin needles strewn everywhere
Currently stuck in traffic just hating my life. The guy in the car next to me is talking in the phone while stuffing his massive face with a bagel that has an impressive amount of cream cheese on it. He’s like laughing while chewing and being on the phone. I wish the person he was talking to would just hang up at this point. I have seriously weighed out the pros and cons of ever so slightly drifting into his car and guiding him and possibly myself off this overpass. So far, the pros are vast. If I take myself out, I will have my assistant follow up on here
We should make smoking at the gas pump a thing again. Throw in some risk variations throughout your life now and then plus if you fuck over a major oil Barron, is anyone really gonna give a shit?
But what if those values are worthless in the weight of retardation?
Guys, I assure you that all those lamp shades derive from only the best free range humans of the Brooklyn and Seattle area
Relationships aren’t real anymore. In order for them to be real you have to hit over 250 IG likes on a photo of you and your SO doing basic person bullshit within the algorithm’s attribution window rate (roughly 4 hours at best) everything else is fake just like reality and this plants you get at department stores, and the news, and the value of our currency, and the fruit you see on display at outdated furniture stores, and girl’s nails/hair who live in low income areas of cities, and white people in general lol
Got to see Tool live this weekend and went to the front rail, shit was incredible. Gonna grab a nitro brew, stare at the colored screen for awhile, then grab a nice lunch and possibly not go back
Everyone, just do the future generation a huge favor and opt out of reproducing. It will solve the genetic hair loss problem altogether as well as numerous other problems. Then you can go enjoy a life of travel and maybe possibly even retire if the world doesn’t kill itself before we reach 65! Yay
Thanks, Jim
Duda, keep doing you. Who cares if people get offended. Life is fucking offensive. I’m surprised I haven’t been confronted for the shit I say but I also think it’s because deep down in their boring, fragile little souls, they know that what I’m saying shatters their protected little bubble of a world and exposes the harsh truth in the purest form masked by comedy and sarcasm and they don’t have the knowledge arsenal to combat it. If you want to get offended and then express it, go check out Syria or Yemen for 2 minutes and then let’s see how offended you you really get.
“Like, omg this guy is so fucking offensive. Can you believe he actually made a joke about abortion? Like what an asshole”
Oh, I’m sorry that you paid money to come to my show and didn’t do your research beforehand and also didn’t realize that there would be jokes and sarcasm here
Typo alert! Someone’s gonna have to come find me and take me out back and put me down
Guys, we all know that a relationship is the flagship advertisement to the world that you have given up on life. It’s easier to let yourself go and come home and IG your sausage into the same socket than it is to be on point all the time. The most innovative people never had relationships, yeah they were crazy but still. Ex. Nicola Tesla. When you procreate with your SO, you can’t go do all the cool shit you wanted to do when you were single like go to Australia or some shit but if you get herpes from sleeping around, you can still go to Australia hahahahahaha
Okay, @dadboner
Currently sipping on that nitro nectar as I sit alone at a table of 4 seats in a swanky hotel bar, waiting for my breakfast. No one around me is speaking English and it’s soothing or it could be the obscure atmospheric music softly being played from the ceiling. Idk where this is going but basically coffee tastes good black. Oh, and it’s raining outside with a light breeze coming from the southeast. Okay, I think I just covered all office talking points for a given day lol