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At my age, it’s common for me to be out with one or two couples every weekend. They vary in tolerability, but the one thing that they all have in common is their capacity to judge.
It has always been in my experience that the couples in a group of people who are out on the town are the ones who are most likely to cast judgment on others; whether that be for drunk choices or offensive comments muttered.
These couples think that because they’re together they have some right to judge the people who go out every weekend in search of a partner. You’ll often find these couples huddled in a corner, nursing cocktails and looking at their phones desperately trying to get their significant other to call an Uber home.
This whole “going out to the bars” thing is beneath them, you see? They’ve found someone, so why should they have to continue to go out with the hopeless masses who frequent bars every weekend looking for a one night stand?
This is not an indictment on couples all over the world. I’m sure there are plenty of awe-inspiring couples out there who actively encourage their single friends to engage in the chase or go home with some random guy/girl from the bar.
Hell, I’d even bet that there are couples who get really drunk with their single friends on the weekend. But I don’t know those couples, and chances are neither do you.
The couples that I know are worse than my mother when it comes to opinions on me settling down (also read as: hurry up and find a girlfriend, goddamnit).
I know for a fact that there have been countless occasions where friends of mine who are in healthy relationships sit down with their girlfriend and get a stern talking to: “You know, I’m not so sure about Duda. He just seems…immature. Maybe let’s just go out with Jackie [her friend] and Dan [Jackie’s boyfriend who he hates] next weekend, huh!?”
Single people reading this can identify with that sentence above, I’m sure. No one – and I mean no one – is more judgmental than a boyfriend and girlfriend who have a bunch of single people in their friend group.
I realize that not all of you are as polarizing as I am. But many of you are single, and I promise you that the friends you have who are in relationships judge the fuck out of you. They think they’re better than you every time they meet up to go to a bar on the weekend. They look at you from an ivory tower casting doubt, shame, and venom on your character simply because they’re in a relationship and you aren’t.
I have a roommate who has a very opinionated girlfriend. She stays the night at our apartment at least three times a week, and on the weekdays when we gather together in the living room to watch a tv show or sporting event she’s there to give me her opinion on popular culture and anything else she deems noteworthy.
I make it a point to challenge her on subjects because, in my opinion, she is almost always wrong. The worst part about all of this? I know that she goes to bed at night thinking that she has the upper hand on me. She has a boyfriend. Ipso facto, she owns me.
They go to bed together every night and chortle to themselves about me specifically and I know it because I’ve heard it. “Yeah,” they whispered one night when they thought I was already asleep. “He proved you wrong, but he’s still single and alone.”
I’m sure there are many of you who have never thought about this before but I want you to dig deep for a minute. Think about all of the times you’ve been out with friends of yours who have a girlfriend or boyfriend that they brought along. They’re almost always disconnected from the group, right?
Laughing indiscreetly in a corner and pointing? I know you’ve seen this behavior before. People in relationships judge others who aren’t in them because to them, they are more mature than you. They have something that you don’t and when push comes to shove they’ll throw that fact in your face.
I’m not saying you have to disconnect completely from your friends who have significant others, I just want you to know that there is a good chance these people are silently judging you from a moral high ground that they shouldn’t be on in the first. You’re not less of a person because you’re single and don’t let two people in a relationship tell you otherwise. Boom roasted. .