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This Kid On Twitter Calls Himself “The Weapon” And Now I Want To Be Friends With Him

This Kid On Twitter Calls Himself The Weapon And Now I Want To Be Friends With Him

I was doing my morning ritual, scrolling through Twitter while simultaneously catching up on emails, when a video caught my eye.

What just happened? I think I’m intrigued. I think I need more. I immediately went to his page to learn more about The Weapon.

Oh yeah, there it is. That’s what I’ve been looking for. This dude is crazy. He has my sense of humor. All you gotta do is get out in the woods, bring a gun, and do something stupid. I’m all in on The Weapon. That’s when I knew we needed to be friends. Just look at this man burst through a flaming wall with no fear.

Bet you didn’t realize he had written “The Weapon” on the board. Bet you didn’t realize he has a “The Weapon” sticker on his truck. This kid even has t-shirts and hats. He has a full merch line. Who the hell is he and why are we not friends yet?

Let me pitch a friendship to you, Weapon. I’m a big ole boy rooted in the Shenandoah Valley. I see you’re a Virginia boy too, so it looks like we already have something in common. I also like to go out in the woods and shoot guns for no apparent reason. I also like to take videos of myself shooting these guns. Remember that slo-mo video of you shooting a pumpkin? Look at this slo-mo video of me shooting a watermelon with a musket:

Sunday Gunday

A post shared by Garrett Delph (@gdelph13) on

I think this friendship has been written by fate. Let me guess, you love fried chicken too? I bet you love America too.

I knew it. Honestly at this point, I don’t even know if I’m worthy of being friends with The Weapon. This kid is so damn cool, and I’m just over here sitting at a desk writing an article about him. I am inspired. The Weapon has made me want to gather up all my guns and go outside. I think I’m going to blow some shit up this weekend in honor of The Weapon. I might have to start your official fan club. Where can I purchase a sticker for my truck? Can I get a t-shirt too?

I don’t know who you are man, but I just want you to know you’re one cool sumbitch. If you’re trying to ride with a good ole Virginia boy like yourself, then just hit up my DMs. We can shoot guns and blow some shit up. You’re the man, The Weapon. Merry Christmas.

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Delph

Just a big dude from Virginia who loves Dale Earnhardt, guns, and eating red meat.

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