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The Best Random Jobs On Craigslist This Week: Hang Out With Jamie Foxx

The Best Random Jobs On Craigslist This Week: Hang Out With Jamie Foxx

Do you work for pretty much any airline and are getting tired of the hateful stares from your friends and family from working in such a ruthless industry? Hit up Craigslist and take a new route.

From San Diego, CA: Millionaire Looking to Mentor

Random San Diego dude wants to be your millionaire Mr. Myagi.

Email us with what makes you tick…why you are special. Save your resumes and speak from the heart. Include your NAME and PHONE NUMBER so that…if we are inspired to…we can contact you. Thanks again for checking this out and we look forward to reading your response.

Remember the toast scene in Wedding Crashers when Owen Wilson points to his heart to save Rachel McAdams from making an ass of herself? That’s what these millionaires want to see.

From Austin, TX: Egg Donors Wanted! Give Hope to Families and Earn $30,000+

&

From San Antonio, TX: Egg Donors Needed in San Antonio area. Earn $7,000+

Living in San Antonio vs living in Austin seems to just be becoming more inferior by the day. Those Austin yuppies get better food, better real estate value, and even their damn eggs are worth more now.

From San Antonio, TX: Waitres

Come work as a waitress for the guy who doesn’t know how to spell waitress.

From San Diego, CA: Binge-eating Disorder is serious

It is serious. Serious as a heart attack. Get it, because if you binge eat, you’ll have a heart attack. I’m here all week folks.

From New Orleans, LA: Filmmaker and Bitcoin Trader Seeks a Personal Assistant

Can you have a more diverse portfolio? Films and bitcoins??

I’m a filmmaker living here in New Orleans. I’m not a hack like pretty much every other filmmaker in town. My films have played at festivals and won awards.

“I’m super important and have medals and prizes and stuff. My mother says I’m the best.”

I also am a Pro Bitcoin trader. This is another art form you would learn a little about. A mathematically inclined, organized, socially gifted person would be ideal for this aspect of my labor.

I didn’t realize that you could sling bitcoins at a pro-level. I must’ve missed that major when I was in college.

Essentially, this is a hybrid position. It’s meant for someone who has two sides to their personality. Preferably they’re the real deal and live with dissociative identity disorder.

Okay, guy has smart jokes. I can live with that.

Job Of The Week

From Nashville, TN: JAMIE FOXX’S NEW MUSIC GAME SHOW!!

Whaaaaat? Potentially get to be on a game show + chill with Jamie Foxx? It’s not being on “The Wall” but holy shit this sounds awesome. And clearly this new show by Fox is a show of the people, because they’re casting regular Joe’s like us on Craigslist.

Are you a famous musician’s kid or relative?

Um. Not that I know of.

Are you a one-hit wonder?

No but I know every word and the dance to the Macarena…

Are you a former or current pro athlete?

I mean, obviously not because I wouldn’t be looking for a gig on fucking Craigslist…

Are you a real cowboy?

How the fuck do you link this to the first three?

WE WANT YOU!

Jamie Foxx’s music game show “Beat Shazam” is NOW casting contestants!

So just so I’m reading this right, they’re using Craigslist to try to solicit famous spawn, ex-famous people, the best athletes in the world, or cowboys? This is why network TV is dying.

Image via YouTube

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Kyle Bandujo

The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. My kid doesn't think I'm funny.

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