Stop Telling Men To Take Off Their Socks During Sex

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Stop Telling Men to Take Off Their Socks During Sex

There is a grave injustice being perpetrated upon the male gender in these troubling times That’s right, the oppressive matriarchs of modern society have instituted a glass ceiling…on the articles of clothing a man is allowed to wear during sex. More specifically, women have placed a sock embargo on sexy time. It’s absolutely disgraceful. Is it fair that men are only allowed to wear 77% of the items of clothing that women are during sex? Hell no.

What is the big deal with socks? Guys are rarely asked to even take off our underwear, we can usually wear shirts, but GOD FORBID we wear socks. When the moment hits, we’re only focused on removing the articles of clothing that impede us from performing the dirty deed. Where do socks come in in that equation? Why are socks even a thought in a woman’s mind? Obviously this sexist rule is a relic of post-Susan B. Anthony matriarchal society.

Men aren’t that picky when it comes to sex. We generally don’t have clothing restrictions, drink limits, or expect a girl to last long. Hell, the quicker, the better. We don’t nag women about not moving enough or that we’re getting too hot or even that we “feel gross.” We certainly don’t expect women to remove inconsequential items of clothing. You know, like socks. Leave them on if you want. We’ll be happy either way. At the end of the day, when it comes to sex, all the expectation and pressure is on the man to perform. We should at LEAST be allowed to wear socks if we want. Is that really too much to ask?

You kind of have to wonder what is going through a woman’s head if socks off during sex means that much to her. I can’t think of many positions where you will be looking right at my socks, or smelling them for that matter. Are you worried that right after sex I’m going to throw on a pair of running shoes and bolt? Are you worried the socks are cutting off my circulation? I appreciate the concern, but as you should be able to see, my blood is flowing just fine. If there isn’t a practical reason for me to remove my socks, then I don’t see why I should even acknowledge a request to remove them.

Why am I so militant about protecting a man’s right to wear socks in the bedroom? Well, besides being a freedom-loving American who won’t bend or break to sock-hating commies, I just don’t see why I’m expected to take the extra five seconds to bend over, kneel down, or prop up my feet and take off my socks. It doesn’t accomplish anything and wastes time. I’m trying to focus on the task at hand, here. What if my feet get cold? That’s more likely to affect my performance than having a nice, warm pair of socks on my feet. Someone has to look out for the man, here.

Leave my socks alone, that’s all I have to say. Men shouldn’t be asked to remove their socks before sex, period. We guys already have plenty to worry about without having to slow our roll and take off our socks. This sexist, feminist trend has to end. If we don’t expect women to remove their socks, we men expect equality and for women to acknowledge the rights of men. It’s 2015, get with the times people, America is better than this.

Image via Shutterstock

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