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Donald Trump Pledges To Ban “Some” Porn If Elected

Trump's Hair Is Not Off Limits For White House Press Secretary

Well, Donald, you had a good run. Here I was thinking that this psychopath actually had a shot at winning a general election and then I see this. The anti-porn group “Enough Is Enough” released a statement yesterday announcing that Trump has signed a pledge that will, according to the group, “crack down” on internet porn. This anti-porn group is an organization that works to make the internet safer for children by getting rid of obscene pornography on the internet. Earlier this year, Trump signed something called “The Children’s Internet Safety Presidential Pledge.” At first I thought, okay, no big deal. If elected, this probably just means that he would rid the internet of all child pornography, which is something everyone can get behind.

I then learned that the pledge includes legal forms of pornography. “Enough Is Enough” accuses internet porn of “deforming the sexual development of young viewers.” So what this boils down to is what the pledge’s definition of obscene is. Because if obscene means the normal stuff that a mid-20s guy would watch on Wednesday night after work in the privacy of his own home than we are in trouble. Who would have thought that Trump doesn’t like porn? I always took him to be a big porn guy. Like into some weird foot and food porn or something. Let me just say this: if this is a really a ban on all porn, you are going to have a mass exodus from America on your hands. And if you want to sit there in your ivory tower and tell me that this isn’t a big deal for you because you don’t watch porn than I’m just going to assume you’re lying. Everyone watches porn. Guys, girls, moms, dads, dogs, and cats. Everyone watches porn.

Imagine a world where there is no porn. Masturbating like a goddamn pilgrim with magazines and smuggled pictures that you found on the deep web. I’m talking immigration in the millions to Canada and Europe. American’s love their porn. My favorite graphs are the ones that PornHub releases during Christmas and Valentines Day because tastes change as seasons change. The only time people aren’t watching porn is during the Super Bowl because you have to watch the game and the commercials. There isn’t any time to rub one out. In the press release, Enough Is Enough said that Democratic nominee Hillary Rodham Clinton declined to sign the pledge, as did independent nominee Harambe. I think you know where my vote is going.

If you’re interested in joining the Harambe movement, check out our t-shirts here and here.

[via Complex]

Image via a katz / Shutterstock.com

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Johnny D

John Duda (@dudaronomy)- Writer and content manager at Post Grad Problems. Please send any questions to me at jduda@grandex.co

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